[Vivek Adatia]

#31824

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“Are bahu, bs ab jaldi se ek pota dedo”, “hey your biology clock is ticking”, ” Start planning for a baby, it is more important than career”, etc.. etc.. all these dialogues are very common for almost every newly married girl in India. As soon as she gets married the immediate thing happens is that every Dadi and Nani enthusiastically blesses them with the blessings of having a cute little grandson or granddaughter at the earliest. It will be no exaggeration to say that sometimes girl is forced to have a baby by her family members.

For a girl it is no less than a new incarnation in the same life when she gets married. She goes through a lot of, actually a Mall of adaptations and adjustments to get set in the new life altogether. To make is more worse, the hurricane of hormonal changes makes her life go all merry go round. It is very much difficult for any girl to hold herself steady and concentrate on her Career as well during these times, above this, she’s even expected to manage everyone and everything in the new and the existing family too. Apparently it is clear that there’s no room for anything bigger in her life at this time. So it should be very much understood and empathized by everyone if she chooses to plan a baby atleast not any sooner after her marriage.

Though extremely difficult and unimaginable toll inducing, some girls tends to have a heart of a mother at very early stage of their life. They are too enthusiastic and excited to experience the best feeling called motherhood at the earliest. This is their happy choice and there is no argument that is valid if they feel ready themselves to be a mother. Here too, it should be very much understood and empathized by everyone if she chooses to plan a baby sooner after her marriage.

Also in this new millennial’s era it neither requires to be getting married nor to be Pregnant, themselves to have a baby. Either we can adopt a child or have our own biological child even before marriage. This makes very clear that women have their right of choosing their own time and willingness to have a baby in current times.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31821

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The process of education is way beyond the scope of certain books and curriculum of schools and university. But the irony here is we are not educated enough about the process of education itself. And this is one of the main reasons why people of our nation, once famous for its revolutionary and contemporary thought process, has reduced to a relatively narrow-minded and regressive mass of people. Probably as a result of this, a number of taboos still exist in our society in this modern era and one of these persistent taboos is regarding the process of menstruation.

Menstruation is a natural, biological phenomenon that every female undergoes through. Yet, a large number of these female in our country are poorly educated about this very common phenomenon happening within their own physiology. The societal stigma attached to it plays a very big role in this. As a result of lack of awareness and information regarding menstruation, many women do not follow proper menstrual hygiene and succumb to period poverty as well. Moreover, it’s the poor menstrual educational of not only these women, who are the direct stake holders of the matter in consideration here, that contributes to it, but also of other people who are directly related to these women adds fuel to fire. These people include the family of these women, their friends and teachers and the societal bubble in which she lives. It is because, these people play an influential role in the state of their menstrual education.

The fact that people can very comfortably go to a shop and buy a toothbrush but they tend to become quite awkward when they go to purchase sanitary pads for their wives, mothers or sisters as they wrap up their embarrassments in a newspaper and cover it with a black polythene, though they are items for equally common usage, is proof enough that still a lot is desired in this arena of menstrual education. Girls missing or dropping out of school altogether due to the stigma attached to menstruation is a subject of major concern. That’s because they already are in need of extra support during these times, when they cannot wrap their heads around what’s going on with their body, and it is during this very time they are compelled or even forced to part away with their right, will and probably the desire of getting education.

The things mentioned here are just the tip of the iceberg and there are substantial issues in our society at the root of which is the lack of menstrual education. Thus we can say that menstrual education is indeed a major concern for our society as it plays a substantial role in the progress and flourish of any society.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31729

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The work of managing households is as noble as God’s work of managing the universe, where the only difference is we are not God, though women are often seen doing miracles for their universe – their family.

From the very inception of the evolution of mankind, in the very foundation of human civilization Women have always been the experts of the life skills of household work. It seems to be an unsaid kind of MoU between Men & Women in the ancient times that unless wanting it otherwise the household will be managed by women of the house and other work which are to be done to earn living will be done by men of the house. Also the earnings, be it money or barter are always paid for the exchange of Goods & Services outside the house and not within the families. The foremost satisfaction of any work done, has always been some kind of consideration in any form be it moral or monetary.

Gradually over the time these understandings between the men & women have unknowingly turned into their sole obligations, without any consideration of one other’s willingness. As understood from the well-known profound theories of businesses managing resources is equally important to acquiring them, since no system can run in harmony without a good manager to manage it. And the same applies to households. Also apparently women’s expertise of managing households is seen as, as common as having a cup of tea which ironically is not everyone’s cup of tea. Which makes women feel unconsidered for their work in very obvious way.

Infact every work done by women to manage household has consideration or reward for it own when those are performed for anyone who is not family. For example, chefs,
Therefore it is undoubtedly, not at all wrong to say that women should be paid for household work may be not monetarily , but with due acknowledgement, gratitude, respect.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31678

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“Dear, please cover yourself properly and then step outside the house.”
A sentence that a girl has to hear thousands of times in her life. Why?
Are we, as a society, that unsafe and untrustworthy?
Be it any public transport, women are still mistreated. There are always a few people who stare at them and make them uncomfortable or teach them “sanskar” if not fully covered.
We all know about the famous Nirbhaya case, she too was raped in a public transport. And like her, many girls go through this but fail to talk about it. And the only reason behind their silence is us, we as humans fail to understand each other. People don’t have the sense to talk also, they scream at women and neglect them.
They sit beside them, touch them and make them uncomfortable. Why are we so ignorant of the fact that women are humans too, they have all the rights to live a safe and independent life where they are not judged on the basis of what they wear or how they walk?
There are many human rights groups and feminists, who have talked about this issue but if we won’t change the way we all think, there is no way we can find a solution.
There are laws made, there are guidelines formed but are we all following them? The answer is no, because no matter how many laws and guidelines are formed, if we won’t do anything, nothing will change.

So, if we want women to be safe and secure while traveling in public transport, we will have to show some courage and speak up when we witness it, we will have to stand with women and support them when they are right. To make this world a better place to live, firstly,we will have to make it safe and secure.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31677

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The birth of a child is probably one of the happiest moments in the life of any person. But sadly, for some persons the word ‘child’ can only refer to a baby boy. For them, a female child is no more than a biological trash and thus they commit the horrendous crime of female foeticide.
It’s been recorded that more 100,000 abortions are performed in India solely because the fetus is a female. It’s strange that these people are not charged with murder, after all female foeticide can also be termed as ‘taking a life’.

It’s unsettling to see how, throughout our history female life has had no worth in the eyes of society; be it the practice of Sati, Dudhpiti or female foeticide. What’s even more unsettling is that these people who commit female foeticide has no regrets or remorse for it whatsoever. They feel as if a burden has been unladen off them. It’s unfathomable how these insensitive people can even be called as humans! They are so drunk in male ego that they eventually suffer from the fever of extending their family lineage.

And it’s not only that unborn girl child that loses her life, it’s also the mother who loses her own flesh and blood, quite literally. And it’s not only that, she loses her potential companion and her best friend. No matter how hard she cries, her sentiments and dreams are all drowned in those same tears. The physical pain is still bearable but the emotional and psychological scars that she wins are etched on her soul for her entire life.

These people who commit this horrible crime are so drunk on patriarchy, they lose the common sense that their priceless male heir cannot carry their lineage alone. For that he too would one day need a woman. They forget that without a female they cannot survive even a single day. Our government too has been incompetent as usual in containing this crime as these criminals roam freely, without any fear, albeit with pride. Well they forget that the One above witnesses everything and they shall ultimately pay the price.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31622

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In the recent times of so called “modernization”, we, the most hypocritical generation of all time, have always acted being the most sensible ones when it comes to having a say in the case of social evils that exist since older times. When we are asked to express our thoughts on social evils, we always have the most logical and sensible reasons to prove it wrong. But the very apparent reality is that, though we are clever enough to know what is wrong, we never follow our own so called “modern” thoughts.

Same is the case when it comes to the evil called Colourism, in our society. We all have read it, heard it and said it infinite times that ‘beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’. But apparently and unfortunately we have failed to abide by these words and therefore, there still exists “the 4 classes” of people in our society, which are, The Blacks, The Browns, The Yellows & The Whites in their unfair and nonsensical sequence of ascending superiority. Though everyone of us find it unfair and nonsensical but we all have been the victims of this evil in one or the other way. May it be judging someone’s beauty, Intellectual character, humanity, social status and what not on the basis of their colour, we all have knowingly or unknowingly done it which may not always be harmful to the other but have definitely done it.

We are definitely trying to unlearn it by heart but sadly we are nowhere near unlearning it any sooner. Especially the women these days are the most vulnerable group to face colourism quite often. They are always being judged by their colour for their beauty, be it for marriages, be it their love lives, be it socialising with friends and relatives and be it being a representative in any manner like being a heroine, a business women, a public speaker etc.

Therefore, though in very unsaid and non literal way but very apparently, colourism is still the undeniable “Dark” reality of the society.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31618

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Who’s better at what? Who’s better than whom? Men or women? We have been trying to answer these questions since the very inception of gender or sex probably. But let us think over it for a second. Do we really need to stress over this after all? All these apparent differences are either externally induced through societal norms or else biological. Yes, some might argue that men are physically stronger than women or women are overall more versatile than men. But these variations in the skill sets are merely acquired and subjective.

When people say men can deadlift a 1000 pounds but women can never come close to achieve this, they forget one thing that such comparisons are not fair. What may be fair to compare is the weight to strength ratio and surely women won’t lag behind in that. This is just an example. This is prevalent in all the cases where such comparisons are made. We must not forget that when and if at all comparisons are made, the parameters must be fair. Unfair parameters lead to establishing illusionary beliefs. It’s like comparing the weight of one person on earth with another person of similar size on moon and thus declaring that the person earth is heavier.

Skills and talent have always been and will always be subjective to a person and not to a gender. Men can become exceptional cooks while women can become successful powerlifters. There’s no such bar on gender. Somewhere, a certain ‘Ronak’ can become a supremely successful investment banker and there are exactly equal chances of that certain ‘Ronak’ being a ‘he’ or a ‘she’.

Thus, it is the society’s misconception that women can’t play cricket as well as the men do and it is because of this misconception that women’s cricket in India isn’t as much popular. We have always had the tendency to establish stereotypes no matter how much the times change. Once moulded in a particular role, the society expects that gender to pursue it forever. It doesn’t take the breaking of its shackles quite sportingly enough and the entire concept of individualism goes down the drain. This tendency of our society is apparently against nature in a way, and nothing has come out good when we have tried to oppose the course of nature. Thus, it shouldn’t be acknowledged that men are better at some things than women, and vice versa.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31606

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First of all the fact that there arose a need to empower women, says much about how we have failed to qualify as an ideal society. How ironic it is, that women, the more powerful gender of the two, except probably physically, needs to be empowered! The fact this term ‘women empowerment’ is in the knowledge of almost all, says much about the progress made in the right direction, with regard to the concerned matter here. With increased awareness and a progressive thought process, it has made possible for today’s women to be able to do everything.

Women empowerment typically means that women of the society have the right and power to make their own choices, breaking all the unfair stereotypes and getting equal opportunities to make their rightful mark on the world. Today’s women have been successful in securing the topmost position in all the sectors, be it politics, business, sports and academics. Previously stereotyped professions that deemed women inappropriate or incompetent to do the job, has now started considering women, not only to become the member of any such professions but also to lead them from the front. Women have beaten men legitimately in almost all arenas and sectors

Thus it can be said that in today’s times, women empowerment is running with its full pace, as they have started getting access to equal opportunities and resources. This has made today’s woman stronger and self-sufficient. But we must not forget that the journey is quite long and slow and we have just set our foot in the right direction. The current condition of the women in society tells us that there is a lot yet to be desired. We have just scratched the surface. This same enthusiasm and willingness must prevail to conserve development of women and there by spread the light of hope. Thus, we can say that even though the position of women in the society have been much better, the flame has just started to pick up and we must not let it being put off.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31605

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All of us are aware of the fact that one of the root causes of all the social issues that exist is the downtrodden mentality of the society. Of course, we all belong to the society but that does mean that the society owns us. Let us take an example here. Many of us live in cooperative housing societies. Of course the members of such a society need to abide by certain regulations imposed by the said society, but that doesn’t give the society to dictate the colour of the wall paint of any particular house. It cannot regulate how any house in the society chooses to aesthetically decorate its place, because though the house belongs to the society but it doesn’t own the house. That’s an individual ownership. In the same way, the society doesn’t own the body and free will of an individual and thus have no right to dictate what he or she chooses to wear.

So, judging a woman by the choice of her clothes is downright nonsensical. It has got no basis whatsoever. People have a tendency to mark a woman characterless if she’s wearing a short dress with a fish net stocking. There is no sense to this logic. People must understand that because a few such misguided women chose to wear a certain type of clothing doesn’t mean that all women who wear such clothing are also lacking in character. Our society is too quick to handover character certificate over an individual’s choice of clothing, especially women’s. It’s like judging the talent of a guitarist by the price of the guitar he or she is playing. That’s downright unfair.

Now let’s not get even started on how hypocrite our society is. It’s perfectly fine when the waist of woman is visible in a saree but it’s deemed shameful when the same woman is seen flaunting her waist in a crop-top. These hypocrites are the same people who ogles over their mobile and computer screens when engaged in porn sites but declares a woman characterless if her clothes are not “appropriate”. Such people plague our society and make lives of the women miserable.

It’s high time when people realise the fact that it’s not the women who must keep their dressing style in check, but it’s the society that must change and better it’s perception and mentality towards the dressing style of any woman. Justifying a horrendous crime as rape, just because the victimised woman had been wearing “revealing” clothes is downright inhuman. As longe as such antisocial elements exist, we cannot expect our society to free from all the vices anytime soon.

[Vivek Adatia]

#31539

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Bollywood- one of the biggest entertainment industries in the world, is one such rare industry that has the power to influence the more than a billion strong population of India. And as the most prominent contemporary of Bollywood has once said, “with great power comes great responsibility.”, it must shoulder this responsibility with immense sensitivity. It must understand and realise that what it shows and present effect the life decision of millions in the country. Having said that, when it comes to portraying its women characters to its audience, one can surely that Bollywood has not fulfilled its responsibility that desirably. It has stereotyped women to be these weak and meek personalities that always need to be saved by someone. The lives of most of these women characters revolved around a male ‘Hero’.

Besides being shown weak and docile, women in Bollywood have often been the subject of lust for the male characters. The instances of objectification of women in cinema is as frequent as rains in monsoon, because why not, after all she’s “cheez badi hai mast”. This thing can further be exemplified in the fact that a dance performance by a female character is termed as “item” song and we all know quite well that this moniker is more of a transferred epithet than a direct adjective for a song.

One must agree that with changing times, more and more films are being delivered, that attempt to break these rigid stereotypes. The films where the central character of the film is a female is not such a rare instance nowadays. Many films today have shown that women mean much more to the story than a girl singing and dancing in white saree under a waterfall. They are shown to be strong physically, mentally and emotionally, who are just as much capable of taking tough decisions, challenge the atrocities done to them, take a stand, voice their concerns

So one can say that Bollywood is trying to break the mould in which its female characters were cast in till now. But it can also be said that it has just scratched the surface yet. Moreover, Bollywood being entirely responsible for such weak handling its female characters is also not true. We must not forget that Bollywood is the mirror to society. It only shows what the society already is. Filmmakers are business people too. They will surely make more of such content that we as consumers consume the most beautiful.

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