2 years, 11 months ago-
Why does society place greater onus on mothers in raising children? Aren’t fathers equally responsible?
In developed countries, women have equal rights and also have development opportunities. In developing countries such as India where women’s literacy is low, women are deprived of their basic rights. But in the real world, when we look around, we realize that these elements like population, the position of women are not enough to give a complete picture of women’s place in society. There is a far greater complexity standing behind this phenomenon. Women are the greatest assets of our nation. Dr. Rajendra Prasad said about women ‘that if the nation is great then it is due to its women who have built it up and it is because of the women that this nation has been recognized and respected.
It is a matter of pride that women play important role in defeating terrorism, illiteracy, and advocating peace. How far have they gone in this direction makes a great difference to the future of humankind? The National Commission on Status of Women in India has put forward some proposals focusing on equality and empowerment of women through policymaking. However, they are not given their due share of functions and responsibilities in real life. Women are discriminated against as compared to men and their education is neglected. Indian girls are thought to be only fit cooking, going marketing and cleaning house or to get married early.
In India, this huge potential of women has not been utilized to its optimum extent. The education for women in India is still at the grassroots level in comparison to the education of their male counterparts. Today’s woman is aware and greatly concerned about her civic rights but is unaware of her role in nation-building. Mothers are the fundamental force in the continuation of family lineage. To neglect her role is to jeopardize social, development, and economic growth goals. A woman’s contribution lies in the fact that she fulfills her duties and responsibilities not just as a wife or mother but as a citizen of society who contributes to the development of the nation as well as sustenance and progress of family life.
The family has become a looser unit of society where the woman’s role has been equated with that of a man. Despite women’s attitude in the workplace, it is their role as mothers that remains deeper-rooted to their persona. This is not meant to imply that men have no part to play in child-rearing. A properly divided responsibility between mother and father is important for the development of a child’s self-esteem. It is no surprise that such a ‘heavy’ task or responsibility as ‘raising citizens’ is assumed by the woman. The mother is fed up with her teeth with her children and she feels she plays the role of a perpetual babysitter who has to deal not only with the children but also with their father, other elders of the family.
When boiled down to its essence, the problem is just another avatar of the patriarchal beliefs surrounding ‘motherhood’. A seemingly unanimous understanding of motherhood is that it comes naturally to women. A mother has the ‘instincts’ required to safe guard her children. While this may apply to most mammals in the animal kingdom, it cannot be extended to humans.
For starters, we are far removed from the reality that animals cope with. Their lives are a matter of day to day survival and they face far more threats than we do. They rely entirely on themselves, sometimes on their community (like elephants and wolves) to survive. The equation of predator and prey fundamentally orchestrates everyday life of animals. In addition to being the only care-giver, it is only obvious that ‘mother instincts’ of other mammals are heightened for there is no guarantee whether a cub or a pup would be alive the next minute.
It is a matter of pure convenience to justify the glorification of motherhood on these terms. Humans live as a society that is constructed on ideas, beliefs, culture, ideologies, economy, trade, nationalism etc. Moreover, it is built on the idea of marriage, a concept exclusive to mankind. In such circumstances, it is only fair and logical that both parents are equally responsible for the upbringing of children. In the traditional family set up, it was considered the duty of the father to provide finances and the mother’s tend to the overall welfare. This includes health, education and character.
Times have irrefutably changed and the traditional idea of family, in most cases, has become anachronistic. Placing the entire responsibility of child care on professional women, leaves them struggling under the demands of their career and their families. It is an undeniable fact that both parents have equal responsibility in the overall development of their children. Claiming that mothers are ‘natural’ care-givers is no longer an excuse.
Throughout the many years, psychologists have examined the roles of fathers in parenting and development of the child. According to Youn-Soo Roh and Sonam Yang (2013), “actors of role awareness and role action are mutually complementary as a whole, and father’s role awareness is regarded as an important variable of parenting participation (Son and Yoon, 2011).” Phares and Compas (1992) , Doherty, Kouneski, and Erickson (1998) are just some examples of comprehensive psychological studies done on a father’s role in child’s life. All of the studies ultimately reach the same conclusion that co- parenting proves to be a positive influence on a child’s life in the long run as compared to just the mother taking care of the child. So, if this is the case, then why do we as a society think of child rearing as a mother’s job?
If we think from a biological perspective, the mother carries her child for 9 months before birth, and nurses the child for the next several months as well; hence the mother definitely plays an extremely important role in making sure the child remains healthy. This may be reason why the responsibility of bringing up the child is given to the mother. But the other reason, if we look closer, may be that women were thought incapable of doing anything else- they were deprived of the opportunity as well. Today in the modern world, even though women have proven themselves to be more than capable to work, child rearing is still deemed their responsibility. This stems from the thought that a woman’s life purpose is to give birth and raise the child. However, the modern woman has the power of choices and does not have to conform to such age- old patriarchal traditions.
Today, co- parenting should be promoted more than ever, the father’s role and contribution to the household being more than just monetary. This can only happen when children today are taught to break free of the restricting gender roles and make their own informed decisions. This way, we can step into a more equal and peaceful world with harmonious families and individuals.
Firstly we should not judge any mother because they know are strong and smart enough to take good decision about there children. But society always judge mother about there child due to which some mothers feel burden of there taunts about there children mothers only affect when they listen anything wrong about there children. Society always comment on mother how they raise their child naughty or disrespectful and also they pin point on there upbringing rather than commenting on mother or children they should change there thinking and tone to talk with children. People always says to mother for everything which is connected to child but no one will tell father of that child or point on them. People think all the responsibility of home and child is only of mother. Why? Father’s should be equally responsible for there home and child. And society should also understand that raising child is not only mother duty father should be equally responsible. People always says that mother should see after child if child is not doing good in students all will blame mother for that. Why not father? Father is equally responsible for if child is not doing good in studies. Women doing job with household work and taking care of child in that also society point women for certain things. Imagine how difficult for single mother to face this kind of society thinking lot of things they have to listen and have to face with all those problems alone. Some people says directly to children about there father is not there talk nonsense about child mother because of which child get affected and feel low. Being single mother is very difficult for women to face such kind of society thinking. Mother’s always feel burden of society when they have child. Society should change there thinking about mother’s they should support them rather than pointing them.
A mother is always responsible for the parenting day of her children . A mother is the one who keep a child on her womb for 9months , and then in her arm and at last in her heart for ever. She is very selfless and always think about her children and family .
A mother always try teach her child good habits and values that time no one pay any attention to the child because fir them it’s the sole responsibility of a woman to take care of child and no one Parise her for that , but in any case any misshapen , then that mother is blamed . It’s the so called thinking of society that women should take care of child and it’s her sole responsibility and a man has to earn money . Everyone expects from a woman to sacrifice her life , her career – for that child . But no one ask a man to stay at home and take care of child.
It is a practice which is continued form the year to year i.e; if the child made any mistake always a woman is Comfort fir the same . What kind of values and teaching she has provided to her child . People think all the responsibility of home and child is only of mother. A man should also pay attention to the upbringing of his child, if he does not do this then his child may go on the wrong path.
The biggest challenge is faced by the working woman who is supposed to complete her office work as well as her household work and along with that she has to concentrate on the upbringing of her child and it is considered as her sole responsibility .
This notice that single mother can give child love of both mother and father but if father is not capable of giving the love of mother and father . I am not saying that if father cannot give good up- bringing to his child , but yes he is also not able to give that much of care ,love and good values to child .I totally agree why only the mother is responsible for the children’s responsibility and care. To have a baby is a Mutual decision of the husband and wife. So why the society expects mother should only take responsibility of children. Co-parenting should be done father and mother should equally be taught to give care, teach values, and manners. Most of the women are housewife so they have to look after the child and take care of, right from making the food to going parents meeting everything done by the mother, why father only responsible for financial duties surprisingly this only happens in India, in some family children don’t get the chance to see their father Everyday because Child leaves for school early morning and in the night when father comes back he already falls asleep. every father should make take some timeout for children and play with them, make the project, and take them on trips. Father should don’t remove his work stress on children, it can also affect on child’s brain. Society does not question fatherhood; the mother is always selfless for her child from the day child is born. Even when a child falls sick mother is one who doesn’t sleep a full night and take care of the child, the father should only for paying the bills for a child, society should start questioning the father. Mothers always should ask for help from the father and discuss the problem of the child instead of solving it on their own. When the father also takes responsibility mother kind of feels relieved and the child receives love and care from both the parents. Father just not limit himself by enjoying watching kids play but also play with them. Children are happiest when they get to spend time with both the parents.
Why does society place greater onus on mothers in raising children?
The society we live in, is already knows for discriminating against women to such an extent, that a number of women end their lives each passing year, feeling overly pressurized by the expectation and limitations imposed on them by the society. Here, the question is, “Why does society place greater onus on mothers in raising children?” So, here we are talking about what women go through right after getting married. According to society, marriage is the license to producing offsprings. No offence, one understands the importance of grandchildren to the senior citizens all around the world. But here, the question is strikingly different.
So, firstly a woman is expected to leave her job and become nothing short of a dependent woman who only takes care of the household and has to ask her spouse before every small little decision that she makes. She does as she is told, and gets married to someone she does not even know properly. She does not even get rid of the tiredness of her wedding and her family starts pressurizing her on conceiving. She still tries to adjust in order to fit in and live up to the expectations of her family and in-laws. She conceives and delivers a beautiful baby, and now it seems like the baby is solely her responsibility. What did she give up her life for? For this?
The society has made an impression of women like the only ones who have to suffer and adjust to make things work everywhere. A child is as much a responsibility of his/her father, as much of his mother. A marriage is a union of two people. A union means being joined together, certainly a 50/50 relationship between two people. Hence, a child should be handled and be taken care of by his parents as a whole, not just his mother. Women are expected to handle the household, take care of the child, serve to the family’s needs and be there for whoever is in need of her anytime, every time. A woman is a human too and we must understand that at least now. The society needs a brainwash, in the way that the society really needs to do better when it comes to thinking big. The world will never be able to flourish if the society remains to keep such a narrow-minded outlook about everything. Opinions can be respected only if they’re respectable.
A woman myself,
Shubhangini Shaktawat
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