Get Inspired, Be Empowered Forums Sexism & Patriarchy Should Motherhood Be A Choice?

24 replies, 23 voices Last updated by Aditi Sahu 2 years, 2 months ago
  • anshika agarwal
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    @anshika-2
    #31358
    anshika agarwal
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    @anshika-2
    #31370
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    In today’s society where we live, there is a perfect age for everything a woman has to do and she has to follow that. They want a woman to finish her graduation at 22 and get married at 24 and have baby at 25.If she regrets to have kids at that age then she is called a selfish woman or given a pile of advices to have a baby as motherhood is the best thing woman can have in life.
    Everyone just talks and believes that motherhood is wonderful. It is like being on the ninth cloud. Every woman loves to have that feeling. No one ever talks about not having a baby or the difficulties coming in it.Why? Because all these difficulties are considered to be normal by the society.Being a mother is a blessing and everyone faces the same situation. Society have never asked woman’s opinion on motherhood. It has become an after marriage ritual that a woman should become a mother and bring a new life to this world.Why didn’t anyone question it before? A woman who wants to focus on her career is taken away from that in being mother. Why men’s Are imposing these stereotypes on woman?
    Motherhood is for whole life.Once she become mother she has to take up that responsibility for her whole life. In today’s era when couple’s are not well settled they are given one more responsibility and one extra expenditure. In our society most of the responsibilities of child care are on mother. Due to this woman’s career gets impacted. She falls so much behind a man of the same age and then this big responsibility to take care of the child is also on her.
    Let it decide by the woman whether she wants baby now or not. She doesn’t need to give reasons to everyone. No one is against motherhood but women has problem with these stereotypes put by society on them. They want to decide it by themselves. If she wants to have a child some years later then that is completely fine. Let her fly without any pressure.

    Semantee Chattopadhyay
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    @semantee03
    #31371
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    Yes, it’s a women’s choice if they don’t want a baby. Every married woman is subjected to the golden words “good news” but is having a baby really good news for all women? In ancient times women were expected to treat motherhood as their highest achievement. If they couldn’t embrace motherhood then there were termed “witches”. To this day female fertility is glorified to a huge extent and infertility makes a woman “worthless”. Advertisement, movies and TV shows force the idea that motherhood is the purpose of a woman’s existence. Often women who don’t want to embrace motherhood are termed as “selfish” and “career-oriented”. Of course, it can be the biggest moment of her life but only if she wants it to be. Our society glorifies motherhood but it hides the real deal of physical, mental and financial toll of having a child. Mothers sacrifice a lot for their kids so the idea that being a mother is the ultimate reason for a woman’s happiness is fiction. In modern times birth control is so lonely trying to manage a country’s fertility rather than empowering women to take charge of their fertility. Family planning programs have informed people about contraception but not allowed women to make decisions about birth control. The idea that women can have sex without wanting to get pregnant still thought of as “uncultured”. Unwanted pregnancies too take a toll on the health of women. They have to bear the pain of abortion or the idea of being single mothers both of which are looked down upon by society. When women take charge of their birth control it forms more equitable marriages and allows women to put more of themselves in the labour force. Motherhood can only bring happiness if it’s solely a woman’s choice as for some women it may not be worth the cost. There should be different avenues for fulfilment for women. Motherhood should not be a societal expectation.

    Tanima
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    @ta
    #31373
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    ‘ Being mother is a dream, every woman has’
    ‘Motherhood is a blessing’
    ‘Being mother and look after your children is a woman’s first duty’
    Recognized those lines?
    Yes, even we ourselves said this to someone either as a greeting or an advice of life.
    But have we ever asked that woman how she’s feeling? Does she really want to be mother now?
    Motherhood is a very tough never ending duty which starts from pregnancy. A woman has to go through a lot of pain, complications, hormone exaggeration, mood swings, changing body, mind and everything through those 10 months and even after delivery. A pain which can never be imagined. And after that you have to manage with your dreams, careers, rest, feelings for upbringing of your child.
    So when a woman is sacrificing most of her for sake of her child, shouldn’t she be given a choice to conceive?
    We as a mother, sister and female never talk about this choice. We’re just following that routine society has given us. To us, it’s more necessary to follow the rules than be happy. And then just declare to do everything as she wanted it. And if she doesn’t want to, she will be declared as ‘selfish’,’highly modern’. Even in some Indian family, it’s seen that wives are being tortured for it. Even some are reaching at violence.
    Why don’t anybody understand, if it’s her body then choice should be hers. It’s not a unwritten contract with family, she is not a reproductive robot. Doesn’t her life stands above the suppression of having a child?

    Yash Tiwari
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    @yash
    #31378
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    Men and women of my generation have had to choose between having a home and family or pursuing their ambitions. That choice was not universal for women in the past. Their options were more limited. Today, there is virtually no difference between a man and a woman as far as education, jobs or opportunities are concerned. There are still many constraints – social, economic, political – that demand change but every year these to are being chipped away at. The need for a child to after marriage is what adds to the difficulty of making choices for the new generation. One just moves ahead without thinking of its consequences. Marriage is a very complicated term that brings a lot of traditions, family values, and culture attached to it.

    There are so many things in life that demand us to walk the path society has given us but I am not sure if those things are truly our wishes. Society’s stereotype of raising children and valuing family is not something that people think about how is affecting their lives and decisions every day. It is only when they want to be parents, that they realize motherhood or fatherhood as a choice. I was talking to one of my friends and she was telling me how much her life changed once she became a mother. If they have chosen the right partner and have the right support from family, then it isn’t that bad. It is, however, really bad when the couple doesn’t have the right support, especially on the emotional aspects of life.

    The pains of being a mother are part of the fabric of life. Mothers carry the burdens of society, but they also have great joys and rewards. Along with all these comes the realization that mothers are indeed on their team—no matter what anyone else tells them. The real issue is how women can pursue their ambitions in a world that’s not always fair to them, and that can be tough when those ambitions entail having children. It’s time to look beyond the headline writers to the choices women are making about work, family, and career.

    Everyone knows that motherhood is a woman’s most important responsibility in society, but most women choose to ignore this fact. Many don’t even want to give birth to children. This attitude is only increasing with time and it is therefore important now more than ever to promote the idea of motherhood as a choice for every woman.

    PALAK KASHIV
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    @palak
    #31379
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    Yes, motherhood is definitely a choice and it’s a very subjective decision that every woman should take if she is ready for the baby or not. Giving birth to new life is a big responsibility, in women’s lives, it’s a big transition. Our society shamelessly like that they just ask women how many years to your marriage, why you are not pregnant are you facing any complications. We should not put pressure on women being pregnant it happens with a lot of women who get pregnant by force of inlaws during pregnancy they receive a lot of care and affection for nine months after pregnancy nobody asks she has to handle it all on her own, financial stability before giving the birth to a baby is also very important because in future you will have to face many complications related to money. What if some women can’t be a mother, some women are not ready for being pregnant, some would not want to be mothers again. Family and society should respect the choice of women instead of judging them. It’s a very wrong myth that women can’t be pregnant after a certain age now women can be pregnant at 30, 40 also there are different scientific methods for pregnancy. Motherhood also somewhere affects the career of the women they have to take a break from the job and after pregnancy, it’s become difficult to catch up on everything. Our society thinks that taking care of a child is the only responsibility of the mother but it’s not a true child is the responsibility of both the parent, now things are changing in some houses partners are equally taking care of the child. Some couples don’t want to be pregnant they don’t want to take the stress of kids homework’s, their schools, they want to travel explore new places and some people don’t have time to look after the child that’s perfectly fine.

    nehachitroda
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    @nehachitroda
    #31380
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    MOTHERHOOD IS A CHOICE
    Motherhood has no one definition and doesn’t stick to a single meaning in fact there are many words, sentences that defines a mother and motherhood. It is about the state of being a mother, giving birth to a child till making the child capable to face the world. Motherhood is a combination of experiences, emotions, hopes, dreams of their children.
    But to become a mother or not is wholly her choice, no one can force her nor make her do what they want. Many responsibilities arise when she decides to take up any decision may it be choosing her career or marriage or planning for a baby. And if a woman is once married then pressures are on her and people make talks and ask her to plan about becoming parents. Being a mother can be extremely rewarding in many ways, but it can have unintended consequences for moms who want to pursue a career while raising a family. This can impact their ability to build wealth and create a secure financial future. According to a report from Third Way, a national think tank, the typical mother sees her earning power drop by 4% for each child she has. Interestingly, the opposite is true for men. Upon becoming a father, men see their income rise by 6%.
    Women have the whole choice to take up anything she wants whenever she is ready. Society should accept the fact and respect her decision which she chooses because she knows her ability to manage everything efficiently. So, motherhood is a choice and not a compulsory thing to do.
    As a woman, her duties never retire, “She works for her husband, She works for her children, She also has to look ahead for grandchildren, Everyone retires but She never…”

    Anika
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    @anika
    #31388
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    Yes, Motherhood is a choice and not an obligation. When asked about what makes an ideal woman, few of the answers include “good wife” or “good mother” Doesn’t a woman have more defining qualities which makes her who she is? Who are we to decide what she should and shouldn’t be?
    People have such double standards for men and women. This debate won’t even start for men. Aren’t they parents too? Why is the pressure of being a parent only on the woman?
    After getting married, the newly married woman often gets asked questions such as; “When are you going to have a child?” “Have you decided how many kids you want?” Although they are dismissed as nosy relatives, these are such invasive questions. How do you know the woman can bear children? How do you know she wants a child? Why do you want to know about this?
    Women are often questioned and asked if they are even women. Saying that women have to be mothers. Obviously, that is not the case. Women deserve to choose whether they want to have a child or not.
    People need to understand that taking care of a child is not easy. People need to have the ability to take care of children, financially, mentally and physically. I wonder just how many women would have had children if they had the choice of not having kids.
    We need to understand that each woman thinks and acts differently. It does not mean that they’re abnormal. No one is wrong for having or not having kids. What is wrong is judging people for the decisions they make.

    VIPASHA .
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    @vipasha
    #31396
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    Yes , motherhood should be a choice .Everyone in India believes that if she gets married, she should have a child in 1 year or else the girl’s character is being questioned .A woman is not even asked if she is ready to have a child or not . People think that becoming a mother is everything. A woman has become a mother, then there is nothing else better than it in her life , but have you ever asked that woman that the joy of being a mother is enough for her or she want something else ?
    Women do not have the right to live their dreams , they are expected to live according to others, they are told that till this time you have to finish your studies, and after that you get married. After marriage, her mother-in-law expects her to have a child ,then to take care of the child, once a child grows up in life, get him married and then take care of her .All of this makes a woman’s life a waste, she has to sacrifice her dreams for others, she has to sacrifice her desires . She is expected to give more importance to the happiness of others except her happiness .It is easy to become a mother but it is very difficult to fulfil the responsibility that comes along with it. A woman should have her own desire, then she should ask her to become a mother if she does not want to become a mother , she will not be happy, she will not be able to nourish the children with the love that is necessary for them.
    Now , if a woman give preference to her dreams and her desires and decide not to become a mother yet, then the woman was blamed , fingers are raised on her. And it is said- “ that there is definitely a deficiency inside you, due to which you are making these excuses and you are not able to become a mother”
    It is the right of a woman whether to become a mother or not .None of us have the right to tell the woman that you have to become mother, it is her wish . Because that woman will take that child in her womb for 9 months and take care of it and nurture it. The joy of becoming a mother is different, but only if the when the woman have her approval in it, then the greatest happiness also becomes the biggest sorrow. The joy of becoming a mother is very good, but only as long as that Women has approval in it. If a woman does not want to become a mother at that time, then we should not force her because then the greatest happiness of life can also becomes the biggest sorrow .

    DISHA SAPKALE
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    @42disha
    #31402
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    Motherhood is a choice. But women is still know by here family status that she has children or not. We live in a society where having a kid is still considered the most logical and predictable step after a couple get married. Motherhood comes with lot of sacrifice for baby but it’s here choice to sacrifice for there baby. Giving up job stop going out with friends for lunch or shopping. Just for taking care of baby. It is difficult to spend own time during motherhood. Because all the time they spend with there baby. Giving birth to a child becomes big responsibility for mother. Motherhood should be choice for women with happily, willingly to be there should no pressure of family. If more people support of women choice then there will be happy moms, babies and society. There should equally balanced with both men and women choices. Women go through many problems during pregnancy beacuse of which it is not esay to take decision therefore women choice should be respect whether they want to be mother at a particular period or not. From the old times people think that taking care of child is only responsibility of mother but this is wrong both parents should taking care of their child equally. Women should also get support of their family so she can give time for herself. There are some people still there in society. If women want to follow her dream first then family don’t support her to do it. Rather than forcing her they could have support here to follow her goals. By doing that she only making better future for here baby by becoming independent that will help here child to do higher studies. Lastly motherhood comes with lot of happiness, emotions and mood swings. Women should make a decision and prepare hereself for all responsibility before getting mother.

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