Eventually the next day she removed the wet and awful smelling cotton cloth that turned red overnight from her vagina. She hold it with all her love and cleaned it deliberately. Blood was flowing like several small brooks on her things. She was fascinated by the flow. She looked at her own blood so intensely and for the first time. She considered the flow so auspicious as auspicious as goddesses in temples.
When she was fourteen, she was not fortunate enough to get general information about what menstruation is until she had it one day. The fluid from her eyes could have filled several tubs than liquid from her vaginal opening. But flowing blood terrifies you more than flow of water. She kept weeping that night.
She has gone through the chapters of menstruation like every other student in school. But you need someone to actually tell you how it feels rather than what it is.
Slowly and gradually she developed aversion from menstruation and remained irritated until it ends after three days in each month.This aversion remained deep-rooted and affected her emotionally for years.
When you do not confront your fear it ends up becoming an aversion of your life .
Though it was not a fear, she just hated having menstruation like anything else. She sometimes even wish not to have menstruation.
” It’s okay if a girl could not bear a child.”
The intensity of aversion diminished with her growing age but she still had that anti pathy for it.
In college several external forces made her to join an NGO. She started giving workshops. Workshops on menstrual education.
You know the best part comes to your life when you are obliged to do what you fear to do. You realise that day only how far you can go.
Most of the times small kids with several curves on their forehead would ask her questions on menstruation. And She tend to smile and explain them very calmly. This was only what She supposed to do. She could not propagate the same aversion to those kids.
“It is a natural process like breathing, digestion, absorption, throbbing of heart , movement of earth and anything else in the universe “.
Consequently She realised somewhere she was replying only to her own aversion while looking at those small dizzy faces.
And One day after having her first sexual intercourse, she realised it’s significance even more . She was eagerly waiting for the red liquid to flow out when it’s been three more days than her normal menstrual cycle. She even started wishing god to have menstruation as soon as possible. ( yeah, you heard it right !)
With all her affection next day she cleaned the red maybe dark red with richness of haemoglobin blood from the rectangular shaped cotton cloth with several layers. The cleaning of blood and touching it with her wet fingers made her feel the relation and belonging.
You will only start loving your body until you get closer to it. Until you smell your awful sweat , until you look at the length of your pubic hair , until you pick out shame from your mind like you pick out dirt from your belly button, Until you realise how beautiful your body is.
Show love to your body and embrace it. Your body deserves it.