2 years, 1 month ago-
We all know how motherhood is always emphasized to be important part of women’s life and how a women is incomplete without a child and how she becomes complete when she becomes a mother.But can we still care to ask women her opinion? Can we take an effort to understand that woman should have first say in this matterI don’t know why even in 21st century we still consider women as baby making machine.Is women only married so that she can give your so called empire a heir? We all know how practical has world has become and having a child is a big decision as it’s a huge responsibilityVery first thing that should be taken into consideration is woman’s consent. We all know that women has to to go through various physical and emotional changes throughout the pregnancy and don’t forget the labour pain and post natal depression issues that women have to face after giving birth. We need women to be emotionally and mentally be prepared for this and let’s not forget we live in the society where a woman is expected to sacrifice her career and take care of a child and if she refuses this society who very first told her to give birth will turn and say that it’s your child it’s your responsibility.
And even if we choose our career over a child they label us as selfish.
Now apart from this there is something called financial stability needed for a couple to attain so that they can at least provide their child a secured future. In this world we constantly go through financial instability as we know how our country is doing when it comes to giving wages and taking taxes. Couples already need their time to settle first. Also as we know there are a lot of expenses from pregnancy to after health of both child and mother. So don’t force them to give good news. And next thing is of course there should be equal responsibility when it comes to parenting.Should motherhood be a choice?
Of course, it is yes. It should be the choice of a woman who carries the baby. She is the one, on whom most of the parenting responsibilities are imposed not only by the society but also by her spouse.
I could see some issues about motherhood in my own family. My sister got married 2 years ago. They have planned to have a baby after some years. And I notice a thing a year after her first anniversary, she hesitates to attend any of the family functions. When I asked her about that, she opens up her heart. She said to me that whenever she attends a function, the relatives ask her about the baby. They did not ask about the baby to her spouse. This let me think more about being a mother. Who are they to interfere in the personnel life of my sister? Why do they concern about her? Dont her spouse plays an equal role in the parenting? Dont he gets promoted as a father?
In this society, there is a basic norm that when a woman gets married, she should have a baby within a year of her marriage. If she neglects that, whether she is given a title ‘selfish woman’ or given a lot of advices on visiting fertility centers. In this patriarchal society, a woman is neither given a choice nor asked for an opinion. Why? Why didn’t anyone question it before? Why didn’t anyone just stop for a moment and think whether motherhood is really their cup of tea? Do we not minimize the importance of a woman’s career by this? Don’t we just assume that all mothers can conceive and not even consider whether they want to? Are we not reinforcing the stereotypes by asking the woman and not the man?
I end up by saying that, motherhood should be the decision of the woman who carries the baby. Its her womb, its her responsibility and it should be her decision. If a woman wanted a baby, let her or whether she wants the baby later, let her or whether she never wants a baby, let her decide. Don`t push her.I firmly believe that a woman should be capable enough of taking decisions relating to her body, whether it is related to having a child or aborting it. But so is not the case in our country. Once a woman gets married, she is dwelled with the constant pressure of having kids. Childless married women are often ridiculed with comments like ‘how can you not want to have kids’, ‘why are you being so selfish?’, ‘think about your future’.
I have a lot of admiration and awe for the amount of work it takes for a woman to raise her children. The physical, emotional and mental strength and mettle that go towards conceiving a child, being pregnant, and then living through the sleepless nights, growing pains, etc. I have nothing but respect for them. But you can’t call a woman selfish if she decides not to go through any of this. If she decides not to be a mother. If a woman is contented with her marriage without a child, doesn’t mean that ‘her family is incomplete’. Yes, childless married women are caught up with such comments too- ‘don’t you want to have a family of your own’. Does that even make any sense? Motherhood is wonderful for those who choose it. However, some women just don’t feel the need to fill their life with a kid, and that’s okay. Just like having multiple kids is okay, adopting a kid is okay, aborting a child and having pets as children is okay. What is not okay is, judging women for something we have little and no knowledge about and something that has nothing to do with our own life.
Choice is a basic right of every human being. Women have the right to choose whatever they think is best for them. It is a woman’s right to choose whatever she wants. Being able to make her own decisions about her health, body and sexual life is the right of every woman. Nobody should tell a woman to do what they think is best for her. Whether it’s about what college she will pursue her studies or it’s about the profession she chooses for herself. It’s her choice. It’s her choice if she wants to marry and it’s her choice if she doesn’t. It’s her choice if she wants to do a job and it’s her choice if she wants to be a homemaker. It’s a woman’s choice to either cover her head or whole body and it’s also her choice to wear whatever length of cloth she wants. It’s a woman’s choice to have whatever body type and it’s a choice to have any beauty standard for herself. It’s a woman’s choice if she wants to have a sexual relationship with her husband/boyfriend and it’s also her choice if she doesn’t. No one can make reproductive choices on matters affecting her body. It’s a woman’s choice whether or when to have a child or not. So, yes motherhood is a choice and instead of ridiculing or judging women who choose not to have a child, we should keep our stereotypes to ourselves. Motherhood is a choice. Being a mother doesn’t make a woman any better or less than the women who are childless. People have the choice to remain childless if they want. It’s up to the couple. It shouldn’t bother anyone else. That’s it. And even it does. It’s a choice. Who cares?
Motherhood, or parenting for that matter, is a huge responsibility to take. So to simply answer the whether motherhood should be a choice, I’d say a big yes! Motherhood is a full-time job that a woman has to do without any sort of payment because obviously it can never be measured with money. It’s a task that demands too much of a woman’s energy, and gives her no break.
There are many people out there who claim that if a woman doesn’t want to become a mother, she is selfish or she is not a woman enough. But all they are trying to do is take away a woman’s autonomy. They are the ones who are carrying the male-dominating patriarchal society forward. It is high time that we understand how huge responsibility parenthood is, and that is should definitely be a choice as forced parenthood would do no one good.
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