2 years, 10 months ago-
Since ancient times marriage is considered an auspicious part of life. In this usually girls are given away to the groom which is known as Kaanyadan. This tradition is followed in every religion with different rituals. These rituals often create the image of burden of the women as she is considered Paraya Dhan so she is treated like the alien in the family. She is denied to have a good education, she has learned cooking doing house chore work and always told how to be a good wife and mother. Is this right? Are girls born for this only? Why she cant live the way she wants? Why is she treated like a burden on the family?
This is high time we need to consider it and make changes to it. We should consider both bride and groom equally. If we will consider this it leads to mutual consent between them. They will understand the true meaning of marriage. Marriage is not just tying a knot but it is tying two people so that they can share their happiness and sorrow. There is no one superior but both is equal. This will also lead to the end of many evils such as domestic violence against women.
Women are not an object but a living being. She also has feelings she also desires things from her husband and her family. She should be treated in a good manner. It is an archaic custom but now we are living in the 21st century we should know how to be modern through changing particular mindset.
If we want to see the change in society against women we need to change these strict laws. We should consider all equal and treat all with equality.The process of ‘giving away’ brides at marriages isn’t something new. In Hindu marriages many rituals take place, Starting with what is known as ‘Kanyadaan’. Most families believe their daughters are paraya dhan which means that they’re just mere caretakers of their daughters and when the time for their marriage comes, they give their daughter to their rightful owners i.e their in-laws. Bidaai means farewell. So, it means the parents are bidding farewell to their daughter after marriage. Many families still practice the dowry system today. It is a payment of cash and gifts to the bridegroom’s family from the bride’s family. I find these practices unfair. Are women only worth something if dowry is given? And what happens if she refuses to give dowry? Why is it only the woman who has to sacrifice her life to get married? Why does she have to leave home, but the same standards aren’t seen for men?
Women are much more than dowry. If you want to marry someone, why would you need anything else other than the person’s hand in marriage? We women are not property. We are humans.
Although the definitions of marriage have changed over time, marriages originally were alliances between families and exchanging properties. Now, the definitions have changed. Although, the dowry system is still existing even today in many places.
Although marriages have improved, we have to accept a hard fact. Marriage was never created to uplift women. It is her family who has to give dowry to her in-laws, It is her who has to change her name. It is her who has to move out of her house and leave her parents. She has to sacrifice what she has just to get married.
I hope that the conditions get better and that marriages are built on equality, love, and trust and not patriarchy.Why are brides given away at wedding.
It’s a tradition which is being following from ages with the saying called “Betiyaan to paraya dhan Hai” . Sounds like she is adopted one and one fine day her real parents are going to take her away forever. People marry their daughter with lots of dowries and give away them in a marriage. They make her understand that from now on you are not our daughter but your in laws and a wife to your husband.
It’s a norm people have believed in so much that they don’t see right or wrong but to give the brides away. Marriage is intuitions of two people coming together and live a life happily. There should be not be tradition of cutting off the brides from her own parents and then forcing her to do work and have ties with the in-laws.
The tradition Bidaai is the moment where the brides hand is given to the husband and the duty of the father ends there, and Now she is a responsibility of the husband.
It was in earlier days, where women were the property of her father, and he gave that to the husband once she is married. Nowadays, people have evolved the tradition and reinvent the tradition in a beautiful manner with respect to bride and her father.
Women are now planning their own wedding right from the venue, food decor and even the guest list along with the theme how she wants to assign the role to whom. So it’s completely her decision to walk down the aisle with her father or mother or alone. At the same time she also chooses not to cry when she is moving to her husbands place . Because she is not been given away from her father.
Traditions are our roots which should not be forgotten but it’s also important to not follow them blindly, but you can add your own tadka to it and make it sound familiar and positive.
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