“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”.
Quoting ‘Margaret Atwood’, there are no better words that can explain the horrors of patriarchy than hers.
What is PATRIARCHY?
THE DOMINANCE OF MEN OVER WOMEN. Dominance in the roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property.
Since the beginning of time, patriarchy has been prevailing in our society and has often gone unnoticed by a majority of people. For generations, the idea that you can only be a good mother if you uphold the PATRIARCHAL BARGAIN to your daughter has been perpetuated. From the time they wake up in the morning to the time they go to bed, women face patriarchy in each and every step of their life. And the sad part is, that they are not even aware of it. They are made to believe that, ‘this is how the world works’, and this is how ‘they are supposed to work’.
• Patriarchy at home
For a majority of women in India discrimination and bias against them begin from a very young age at their own house and by their own parents. The most toxic patriarchal control is the one that thrives within families and forms the very foundation of the patriarchal world. Girls are supposed to wear certain kinds of clothes that the society wants her to, ‘Quiet girls’ are often termed as ‘good girls’, sex and periods cannot be discussed openly in the house, learning to cook and clean is mandatory for a girl as she will have to do the same once she gets married. These are the small things that forms the very roots of Patriarchy leading to bigger problems like female suppression and domestic violence.
• Patriarchy at workplaces
Discrimination we are taught at home, when taken outside, makes it a global problem. Men at workplaces often engage in unsolicited behaviour towards women, that we commonly refer to as ‘sexual harassment’. Prejudiced treatment at the time of hiring, getting paid less than a Male employee who does the same job, being denied a promotion, pay raise or training opportunity are some of the common issues that women face at work, making them believe that the most suitable place for them or the place where they belong is their home.
But I believe in my humble opinion that ‘men and patriarchy do not go hand in hand’. They, too, can fall victim of the patriarchal practices of our society. Since men are expected to grow up and reach powerful positions, they are raised to believe that they can never show any signs of weakness. Moreover, causing them to suppress their fear, pain and anxiety. This results in the same men growing up as ‘emotionally damaged’ beings that sometimes are unable to solve conflicts without the use of violence.
The solution?
FEMINISM.
Feminism in the only way one can smash patriarchy. As an ideology, feminism seeks to highlight the disastrous impact of patriarchy in a women’s life. To think like a feminist means to question the way you live, the way you do things and the way people treat you. In order to smash the patriarchy outside first you need to smash the patriarchy from within you. Educate yourself and the people around you. Question each and every rule that has been set up, specifically for you. Why me? Why not him? Why not them? And don’t stop, until you get the answer or the equal treatment.