9 months, 4 weeks ago-
As we all kn, in our Indian culture, women are always expected to do household chores, look after their family and their needs. Staying inside protected walls , hidden from the outside world, constraining their dreams,liberty,that’s what women are supposed to do.
However it’s good to see that today’s world has a lot of difference. Though women exploitation isn’t in control yet of course, but we get to see our females in higher standard already. Higher education, research work, law, high ranked officers, business- there’s no more place where women haven’t been proven effective. But can we really abolish all our old customs which used to hold women like a chain?
If you ask me, sorry to say but maybe that chain has gotten longer to be able to let women explore the outside world but that chair remain still unbreakable in most of the parts and one example of it is how we want women to be homely, to make a perfect wife, how women are still restricted , judged and have to face gender discrimination in every aspect, how most of the families teach their girls about cooking and chores while sons are just to get whatever however they want to.
Yes, we just allows our girls to be outside, but never forget to tell them how weak they’re to protect themselves.
And yes, we still believe that women should do all the work,just like the early era, though she does nothing less than men in their job. We never consider to help, we’re just making deals . Deals with their dreams, their life. Aren’t we?
Yes, it’s harsh to believe but still some family doesn’t accept independent woman as daughter-in-law, who accept, doesn’t be really happy about it and after all these if they are truly accepted, it’s always preached to keep the work-life balance while in other side men can spend anytime for the sake of their job.
That chain must be broken to stop this ongoing gender discrimination. Family should accept and help members whoever they are, whatever position or duty they hold. Women should be respected such a family member too, not only a wife to fulfill the duty.In old times this patriarchy society, especially men had thought of them as being the protectors and earners of their families, as due to their income family is living they should be valued to another level in the family. Women are more likely to be appreciated for being good wives and daughter in laws.
As the time passes women are also working like men and going office and earning a livelihood. But still work life balance is on women. She has to maintain a balance between her personal and work life but why it’s not on men. Why women’s are told that they will regret theur career later because they are missing out on their young children’s lives? When man has all the rights to choose her life then why women is even questioned. Men can take a day off from his work for going to watch movie or gym but he can’t take a day off for her wife. If the women asks to him a day off she is being treated as bossy and selfish. Like women does men can also be a good caretaker who can genuinely and supportively support their wives. The ongoing stereotypes are clear and rampant in the world of work. Women are mostly paid less than men for performing the same jobs at the same level.
The problem is work-life balance is invented by men because they think women can have career, babies and do household chores but they can’t balance it properly. Therefore, work life balance predominantly preached to womenEarlier people thought that women should do education work, children should be seen in the house and should stay inside the boundary wall. Time passes the thinking of the society change, and the rules and instruction which is applied on women is reduced.
But still there are many people in society who think that a girl should know how to manage household work, how to manage everything and keep everyone. Is it girls is asked to do the work never ask in man to wash utensils what’s the cloth and clean the house? But the women cross all these boundaries and choose her career and start working has to face a lot of hurdles. That woman is supposed to maintain distance between her professional life and personal life. She has to manage her household chores as well as the office work and has to satisfy both. In this journey no one is supposed to help her, even his husband and family e accept from her that she has to do all the work at home then she gets permission to go for work and after coming from there she has to do all the other household work.
But why all these things happen with women. I can understand that, you can expect from the elders of the house because their thinking is old, they walk according to the old times, everything is wrong according to their time. But this is not acceptable from man side he is educated. Is working according to the today’s scenario he can understand, he should understand that now every woman has right to choose her career before her house responsibility. A woman does not get any support from husband or family side even she is advised to manage the work properly how can she effectively and efficiently work in an office and how can she can she has to manage the household work too and pacifier both the parties. A woman is always supposed to work at home as stay at home and do the house chose. People think woman has no right on her own life she has to life for the happiness of other.
Work-life balance predominantly preached to women because society and the people of the society it is the sole responsibility of women to manage household work and if she is working woman, she has to manage both the thing. A man is not supposed to help in the house and support her wife.It always pre-assumed in our society that working women should only need to compromise or balanced their personal life and professionally separately. They are not expected to take work stress to overcome their personal life, If that happens they are judged by every other people they knew, all this thing creates pressure to perform well or otherwise they feel obliged to quit their jobs and that leads to loss of their career opportunities. On the contrary, if we flipped this situation toward men it is accepted that women understand his situation and motivated him towards his career growth, nobody will question men if he is balancing his personal life or taking time out for family or not. Women don’t have the intention to ignore their personal life. And men should also expect to support her when she is busy working, he should try balance the other work. Some people just not ready to accept that women are growing in their career they just won’t pull her down, they start taunting women by she is selfish, does not give her time to family and she does not care about anyone but themselves. Before targeting women people should discuss and ask women what is going wrong. it is not mandatory that always women are responsible for household duties and responsibilities, there should be an equal division of work between men and women. Sometimes working women get caught up in the work, she gets a little late. Men should understand the situation before questioning. Women should not accept her mistake when she is not wrong and fight for herself, then only this will change the thinking of the society, nothing is wrong with being independent, men should not force the women to quit his career just because she is not perfectly balancing her work life.
Women always maintain the balance between personal and professional life. But then also in some family women has to listen they don’t do this that and many more and sometime they say like why you bring your Office work at home you should do it in Office only. And when there own son does that they say like my son is doing so much of work. Why there is inequality between both. After having balance with work life by doing all the household work then also women face inequality in home only than what will the condition of society thinking and mentality. Family should support both with their jobs. From morning onwards women does all the work for family by waking up early doing all the household work and then only go to the office then also she has to listen certain things about household work in that also she is not getting support of family. Women except from their husband atleast they should help them in household work and support here with work life as well. He should give strength and mental support to her wife. By doing this much also she will feel better. After coming back to home from office no matter how much she is tried but she has to cook alone for her family this shows that how strong they are. But both should take responsibility of family all the time women are not only to take care of family both should divide household work so that it will done faster and both will get time for family and own time also. Society also think that women are only to see after family and child but they should take equal responsibility for their family and child. Women does both household and job life because she has to be independent and has to follow her goals with the happiness of the family.
The concept of ‘Dharam-Patni’ does not leave the blood of Indian reforms. Even when women are achieving success in different fields, it all falls to that one question. It is, ‘how you will be able to look after your family if you continue working at odd hours.’ Such comments are thrown at the face of a woman like she was born to be a wife. It reminds me of society’s representation of, ‘oh, you are a woman; you should know how to do these tasks.’ It is disheartening to stand up to the expectations of a society that does not bother about your existence.
The girl child education might sound empowering, but it always boils down to looking after the family first. One expects a woman to stand up to home duties irrespective of her desire to receiving an education or continue working as a corporate leader.
One may consider it as sarcastic, but if society had the power to cook a recipe for women to be good wives, Indians would have been a bit rich by now. The Indian community especially talks about the importance of motherhood because as soon as a mother leaves, things become topsy-turvy. You must have seen memes on social networking sites about how things are difficult to find when you do not have a motherly figure at home. If we critically analyze it, one may notice that we are imposing a role on women as their duty to be at home and take care of family.
Even before marriage, the family or the other members of society condition women to look more after the in-laws and husband than looking more after the work. Also, the blessings are concerning more a family than a woman’s work aspiration. The modern age hasn’t changed much, but I hope it realizes someday that the responsibilities of men and women are the same, and there should be no difference between the two.
Work is a part of life, not life itself. The pandemic has blurred the line between working- hours and personal time, the physical and mental effects of which reassert the importance of a demarcation. It is important for each person to acknowledge that their careers do not define them, that it is only an aspect of their lives. Work –life balance is all about setting aside ‘you time’, about focusing on health and mental well-being, relaxing and unwinding.
Brian Dyson, former Coca-Cola CEO, uses the metaphor of juggling five balls- work, family, health, friends and spirit. A rubber balls stands for work while the rest are glass. The logic informing the distinction is that a rubber ball will bounce back if let fall. One’s work life can be recovered if temporarily mishandled while the rest cannot.
In this respect, there has been a lot of discussion on work-life balance in recent times. In simple terms, it is the efficient management of work, self, family and relationships, so that a person lives holistically. Women have been preached the importance of this fine balance right from the day they set out to have careers of their own. Even today a lot of women are not allowed to work. If they do, it comes with a stringent condition, that it shouldn’t in any way hamper them from discharging their domestic and motherly duties.
Family is indeed important to every person who desires it. Why then does it gain extra importance when it comes to women? It has always been emphasised that family is as significant to a woman as her career, perhaps even more. A woman’s career is treated as dispensable when it conflicts with the welfare of her children and family. Acknowledging that some women willingly give up their jobs, why isn’t there an option to choose differently? How often has a man given up his career to take care of the family? Why are we, as a society, disapproving of men who do so? Why is there pressure on women to give up their jobs if their husband has to relocate for work?
For a lot of women, work-life balance isn’t an option. It is a matter of one over the other. Those women who can afford it often find themselves guilt stricken after a point of time. The ‘life’ in work-life balance has different implications for the genders. While it translates to ‘me time’ for men, for women it is the second shift. It becomes a work-(more) work balance. In fact, most women do not even devote time for self-care, for domestic work gets in the way. It is a typical scene in many households for husbands to practice yoga or exercise while the wife labours in the kitchen, a scene succinctly portrayed by The Great Indian Kitchen (2021). The contrast between the tranquillity of the former and the cacophony of the latter highlights the underlying hypocrisy behind ‘work-life balance’.
Today, in this modern era, where women are capable to have a career, be independent and stand on their feet. They’re still restricted for what they should do, the society keeps a list of terms and conditions in front of women when she decides to be independent, “come home in time”, “don’t wear short clothes” etc. Societies expect women to participate in household chores before walking on their career paths. Doing household chores is considered to be the first duty of a woman, whether she has to leave her career for that.
Women are asked to maintain a balance between house chores and their work so that their families don’t suffer. Men are never expected to compromise upon their work, women are. Since the ages men are expected to work, earn money and stay out of the household chores, even today when the times have changed, women are still expected to look after their house before stepping out of their houses, even if a woman’s working, she’s expected to think of her family/house first.
Generally, when a man comes home from work, he’s asked to take rest, have a meal etc, but on the other hand when a woman comes home from work she’s expected to cook food, manage groceries and look after the family. This is the discrimination women have been facing even after being independent.
To change the scenarios, women and men should equally lend their hands in household chores, women should not be burdened with the responsibilities all alone.Well nowadays in the pretense of praising women that only they have power to multitask and balance their work life and family, women are told to get a golden mediation between personal life. We can say as much as we have developed ourselves and women not proudly firmly grounded their flags on almost all the top posts. Still, we don’t deny that cooking, washing , and taking care of family are still considered to be the duty of women. Why can’t a man do these things?
Women are always told to prioritise her family first and choose these responsibilities over her dreams if she is unable to balance between them.
Now let’s not forget how boys proudly demand that their wives should be good at everything. She should be educated but simultaneously should also be perfect in all the housework. There are even some creatures who say we want a girl who would be good at doing housework because they don’t want to see their mothers tired anymore.
Come on man, why don’t you get a maid for you and your mother?
It’s really difficult for a woman to adjust with both lifestyles when she is always expected to do everything for herself. I really admire the families who teach boys to help. But we can’t deny that the majority Indian families have already decided that the boy’s only task is to provide money. I see many women who practically need to prepare meals , cleaning and everything before going to work and then come back again to work for dinners. Lets not forget very common site of local trains where we see how women often are seen peeling peas or any veggies in train to save work. Even doing both the tasks women often complained about her. We need some humanity and understanding that women are human beings and they need rest too. But the sad thing is we forget this. Even so there are families with a new mindset and how we see families actively help women in the family. And I hope we all grow up with more open mind and help out our women .
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