Get Inspired, Be Empowered Forums Sexism & Patriarchy Why are Indian women expected to be ‘homely’?

17 replies, 18 voices Last updated by Samriti Sharma 1 year, 11 months ago
  • Woospire
    Keymaster
    @admin
    #31283

    Why are Indian women expected to be ‘homely’?

    shaifalikapoor03
    Participant
    @shaifalikapoor03
    #31313
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    “A woman should be decent, responsible, and dedicated towards her house” that’s what they say and expect women to be. Women should spend more time for their house, family and should work upon making them happy is what people say a decent women is like or how a “homely” women is. For ages we know how women have been treated, now when they’re trying to work for their dreams, they have to face some conditions for that, which includes to be a homely woman, to commit to their house. A late night partying women, a “much more dedicated to her work” women are basically according to this indian society are considered to be irresponsible and non-decent and are not respected as much just because she is not as much of a homely person, a woman in this society earns respect only when she is more into her homely concerns than any other thing in this world. Basically, this is another way of judging women to make them feel guilty about being a strong and independent. This mentality of the society sucks humanity out of it.
    But although the women today are so strong that they continue to be the one following their dreams rather listening to the society’s lame judgements. That’s what is inspiring about being a woman.

    anshika agarwal
    Participant
    @anshika-2
    #31322
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    Home is the best place for everyone. But according to society it should be followed by women only. Because men had said this only for women.
    Indian women are expected to be homely because they can’t see a woman who is bold, confident, independent and has strong view point. Because this patriarchy society consider women as a symbol of weakness. Women are called selfish when they choose career over family. But when they sacrifice it for family nobody even notice it. In the eyes of society women’s work is to live at home, cook food for family and take care of child.
    If a woman went out she will meet another women who can make her bold, confident and strong like her and society don’t want to see a women being strong. They can’t have a view point in the discussions of family talks. They are made for doing household chores.
    At the time of marriage women is asked whether she knows how to cook food or not. Why men’s are not asked this type of question? Why it can’t asked whether she knows how to drive or not?
    Women are considered to be the laxmi of house, but society doesn’t let a woman earn that laxmi. She can’t be a good business woman.

    Agarwal Me
    Participant
    @agarwal
    #31328
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    In the eyes of society women are expected to be homely because they are born to be the slave of the husband’s family. Family member wish her to devote all her time in family.

    Tanima
    Participant
    @ta
    #31329
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    “Want a fair, educated, young woman, accustomed to all kind of household chores for marriage”-
    Yes, yes, it’s just what you think. Approx each and every newspaper contains that stuff. Obviously not in tinder, but in reality most of the family wants a perfect educated homely wife who is gonna preserve their family.
    Rushing out, shouting around that’s what boys do, you are a woman. Try to be more generous, more sofisticate and obviously no need to go out from home.
    That’s what they said.
    Even we can see it in some of our own family that our brother is always allowed to rushing out, playing, jumping, enjoying every bit of life he had but no, sister is to be someone who cares for everyone in family, cook, stay calm, do household chores and if somehow she proposed to play outside, she is usually advised to keep between household, play with other members who are apparently busy with their jobs or maximum can be allowed to go to some friends home.
    Breaking glasses, being naughty suits for a boy, but you are a sweet girl, you can’t unlish that little playful mind of yours.
    Yes, I know that being in such an age, where women are not only going outside but also they’re earning medals for country, it looks like a fur more than nonsense but believe me, it is what it is.
    Women empowerment, maybe happening, but sorry to say it’s still an illusion. Yes some of us are doing great but what about that maximum percentage of women who are stuck between home? Does everyone need to be an athlete, a cricketer,a table tennis champ just to enjoy a little bit of freedom?
    Without rapes and crimes, there’s still some taboo is going on in our society and one of that is how we want our girls to be homely.
    Why do we do that? Ever ask yourself?
    Ok, let me clear, there’s not maybe some particular reason.
    It can be,entire country being a crime location, women may not be feeling safe
    Or maybe they are concealed by patriarchal illness.
    But why our society wants to be them homely?
    Whatever the reasons are, we’re the same member of that nasty society who continuously want to conceal women for their own selfish purpose. As being a patriarchal society, men must not be blamed, then somebody must be tortured? Here comes women. They are constantly suppressed within that four walls by those rootless desires.
    There’s another point of satisfying male ego as they can’t tolerate their women independent. As independence give births to raise voice, having opinion, all over not being under them. Thus they love to keep their women homely.
    And above all of these, who doesn’t want a caring wife, mother, sister, daughter-in-law to be always there to enact just after hearing orders.Though not to mention, it has to be women, not a son, brother. As it’s easier to suppress them. Right m
    This sick mentality is constraining deliberately our girls to explore themselves. They are learning day by day from their mother, another woman that we ought to be homely to make it a good everything.
    But just when can we think about everyone as human who is not to be suppressed within walls? When women empowerment will come to reality?

    Manpreet Singh
    Participant
    @manpreet
    #31340
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    This whole notion that a woman should be homely and should look after the home arises from the religious texts that have greatly affect the gender divide and the gender roles in our society. The notions which tell a woman that her husband is her god and that she has a religious duty to look after her, have gathered a strong foothold in our society. With the deep-rooted patriarchal mund set that we have, it is not an easy job to uproot these notions from our society because by doing that, we are basically challenging the power imbalance. Whenever the power imbalance is challenged, it requires giving up of the privileges and privileges are not easy to give up.
    If we look at these notions from a modern point of view that they have no place in our society. With the overall development that we have seen in all the fields over the last 100 years, it would be wrong to say that genders have specific pre-defined roles in society. These days, when women are participating in combat roles with great vigor, there hardly remains doubt that gender roles matters now. By saying that women are only meant for homely and household work, we are basically challenging the constitution evolution that this country has seen for over 70 years. We are challenging the fundamental right of this constitution and this should never be allowed to happen.
    Now is the right time to hit the iron when it is hot. The kind of change that education has brought in society, we must fully utilize its benefits and work towards dismantling the old notions which have no place now. A meaningful change can only happen when a strong political will is shown by our politicians. Along with that, we also have to pledge towards gender equality.

    PALAK KASHIV
    Participant
    @palak
    #31348
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    It’s been the Indian tradition that women should stay at home and do household chores, handle the family. Very less in Indian women are appreciated to go to work even if women leave her home she is doing against her family for herself, the family thinks she is selfish and does not care about anybody. Most of the husbands ask their wives to stay home because they are earning enough to feed the family and also create a sense of fear that the environment outside is not safe for them. But the real reason is if women start earning more than wife it will hurt the male ego of the man they will get less importance in the family eventually. There are a lot of women who wanted to do something but can’t because of cultural and social barriers. If society says women are unsafe outside she is equally unsafe at home. Women did not get a single day off for themselves she has to be on duty 24×7. Some women’s grow up seeing their moms at home doing all housework she also accepts it easily, women need to step out if she wants to follow her dreams it always difficulty in starting but after some time will also understand and accept. It just a matter of taking that first step. According to this year’s economic survey report, 60% of women at the productive age of 15-59 are engaged with household work. More than half of the women is a housewife. We need to change these figures by educating our girls and companies need to hire more women. the company also need to make sure that there is safety at the workplace so women would not drop the company

    Shumaila Siddiqui
    Participant
    @shumaila
    #31412
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    Women are born with the saying that ‘ladkiyoon ko kya karna hai bas ghar he to sambhalna hai ‘.We will unable to find that one girl who hasn’t heard this sentence ever in their life. A girl is taught from the childhood that they need to be at home because they can’t function outside. Also, they are being treated as the most inferior humans in the house that they become very weak to handle the life crisis. The people should understand that they are just destroying the mind of the small girl. That they shouldn’t be as powerful and as strong as any other human to handle the situations and the problems that arise in life. It is the biggest reason why in India a woman is expected to be homely because it starts from their own family from their own houses and from their own people they are surrounded by from their childhood. It is the mentality that makes them to think that they need to be a homely girl to get married at certain age with a well settled man and that is the only way of life they are being taught at their homes. Otherwise, you have no career you have nothing as yours like self-respect, income or anything about yourself it is only about the surrounding people that lives with you and the expectations around her makes her to be a homely girl, and they think that it is the only way that I can live my life and escape from all the judgments,taunts,comments they have been hearing from the childhood. Indian people think that one incident is just the end of the life just like if one person dies in any family and the woman related to with that person is being regarded as almost dead or destroyed and that she has no other way around to do anything in her life because it is the end for her. They get mistaken about marriages that its for companionship and not for the slavery of a man. Women are not born to be homely they’re born to do much more in life and to make the nation and the family proud each and everyday with their commendable, effortless and multitasking skills.

    Mayuravarshini Mohana
    Participant
    @mayura
    #31547
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    What do people mean by ‘homely’? A woman who is submissive, docile and balances the entire household on her shoulders. It is, not surprisingly, a gendered term.

    Women have been unanimously ordained as the gatekeepers of culture. Ever wondered why a woman wearing western attire to a temple or a wedding comes under heavy censure while a man is free to wear a suit? This is a simple outwardly example. Being the ambassador of culture, it is woman’s onus to carry her tradition. From religious rites to cultural values such as hospitality, fidelity and chastity, her mind and body become the locus of traditional identity. It is often treated as a badge of honour. Unlike wildly portrayed it does not glorify womanhood. They are nothing but methods to keep women in check. A ‘homely’ woman doesn’t speak against elders and embraces subservience. She adjusts and compromises extensively to suit the liking of her family. To put it plainly, she is ideal in the eyes of patriarchy.

    The insistence that women ought to be homely is to counter the ‘liberated woman’. A liberated woman is someone who knows her strengths, capabilities and is aware of her rights. She is a threat to patriarchy. Glorifying ‘homeliness’ is a frequently used tactic by society to express collective disapproval of such women. The homely woman is the ‘light of the household’, a goddess who brings wealth and prosperity to the family. Such sentiments make women believe in their supposed ‘divinity’ and willingly comply with the demands of patriarchal institutions. They are convinced that to fail at this is to fail as a woman.

    nehachitroda
    Participant
    @nehachitroda
    #31561
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    India is a developing country and so each day we are evolving, accepting new changes in a positive way whether they are new rules, policy, amendments, etc. But still, each woman is expected to stay at home, maybe after marriage or after studies are completed, Peoples mentality has been the same still, instead of so many changes and people easily accept western culture but when it comes to women, it is still lagging behind.
    Female is expected to feminine and should learn things which don’t change their work, or they should study the course which is moreover related to indoor and within the area nearby because she is a woman… It is nowhere written or any framed policy that women should do house chores and stay at home, and men only should earn and run a family.
    The working women strive to maintain a balance between office and household chores. Women’s contribution to the world can be considered more positive than men’s. Women are not to be kept at home and treated as servants to each family member but they too have passions and so to fulfill them, they need to be free from restrictions.
    In India, this scenario is too common and it’s mostly because of region or culture and most people’s mentality towards women.

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