2 years, 2 months ago-
The feminist marriage fails to recognize how domestic tasks from cooking to cleaning to child-rearing are rooted in patriarchy. While love, nurture, and selflessness are usually given as reasons for doing these chores, these supposedly feminine attributes don’t exist apart from the patriarchal characteristics they’re meant to compensate and complement. But, if we look just a bit deeper, we find that the ‘feminist marriage’ is the ‘marital trade.’ The wife works for free in the home to sustain her family and thus proves that she is a responsible member of society just like her husband. On the other hand, her husband supports his family and sustains his wife and children. The woman is often given presents or allowed to choose her attire if she does chores that are told to do.
Given that feminists since the colonial period have debated issues related to marriage and sexuality in India, it is rather strange that this contemporary film should get so much attention. Most feminists – both in the academic field as well as the women’s organizations – have understood the politics of demanding rights within a regime founded on patriarchy. Therefore, they question these basic family units too. But there is always a happy ending, despite the spinsterhood that faces this unmarried girl (and the broken hearts of her respective families). The older woman who cheats on her husband in Haider will be killed off. A Muslim man will marry a Hindu woman in Raj Kumar Hirani’s PK, despite it being against all religious rules. Everything will magically work out. In movies and real-life alike.
I have been one all my life in addition to being a very ardent fan of Hindi cinema from the mid-70s until recently. But one thing I cannot stand is when the discussion of women’s rights in the larger scheme of things focuses on what a woman chooses to wear or not wear, and how she behaves and maintains her body. In the name of love, marriage turns women into domestic animals who spend their lives serving others. It is not an exaggeration to state that this leads to a form of sexual slavery.
The recent ‘Feminist Marriage Movement’ seeks to encourage unmarried people to decouple marriage from social and economic factors. Rather than view marriage as born of money or procreation, it sees marriage as a matter of personal choice and desires only. It encourages unmarried people to advocate for their emotional needs and desires within the framework of their relationships while reorienting the public away from viewing all single or unmarried people as deviants. The notion that a woman must be married to be complete is as specious as the claim that a woman cannot live without a man. Both arguments are rooted in dated, biased stereotypes that serve only to propagate the myth that women have an innate need to marry and, even more egregiously, to do so for their happiness and fulfillment.
In traditional marriages, marriage is considered as the most important thing in life and people think that women are born just to get married and have a peaceful family. Women who don’t marry is considered as bad, sad, lonely or alone.
In traditional times people think that after marriage a man will provide a roof, money and social security to his wife and in return wife will take care of his family. But in reality marriage is the thing where both people are independent human beings rather than dependent on each other and those two people want to share their life together. In today’s era women are becoming equally independent and want equality in marriages. In all th feminist marriages the couple build that relationship in which no work is considered as small and to be done by one member only which makes couple’s relationship more understanding. Traditional Marriage is not just between a man and a woman, it is between two families where women have to take care of that big family too. Society considers marriage as the must thing in life. But they forget that it’s man made thing and it’s completely fine if someone don’t want to marry. Still there are alot of people who are against inter-caste and inter-religion marriage. Women still don’t fight for their right and think household work as their duty. They work whole day like hell. They never get peace. Feminist just want a world where women also have equal rights and opportunities like men.The concept of feminist marriage lays emphasis that in a marriage, both the partners are given equal rights and opportunity to grow and develop as a person. It is a stark opposite to what our patriarchal marriage policies have to offer. If we were to say that whether the feminist marriage is just a marriage or not, then going by the ground realities, we can safely say that we have to cover a lot of issues before we can say that we have truly achieved equality in marriage.
Our patriarchal setup and marriage obligations for the marriage program is almost completely opposite to what feminist marriage spire for. We do not give women the equality or right that they deserve as compared to males. They are considered as some domesticated animal, whose primary purpose is to rear a child and to look after the house. The argument given in favor is that we have to protect our culture and traditions. We say we’re proud that our culture that says that a woman is meant to be within the four walls of the house in order to protect dignity. They are just relegated to household chores in the name of fragile feelings and femine nature. They believe that females are perfect for household responsibilities and they should not venture out of the house. Despite our constitution has made strong fundamental rights that provide equality to both men and women, we are still holding onto our patriarchal rules in the name of culture and religion.
If we desire to create a truly feminist marriage, we have to spread the light of education among women and make them more independent. Their lack of Independence with the main problem why they are still dependent on the patriarchal setup. Before we left we have a long way to cover in order to truly achieve feminist marriage.In today’s generation we will get to see very few of them who make it feminist marriage because we have society who thinks men should earn and women should be housewife. Gender inequality is major issue in our india than obviously their will be very few feminist marriage. In this marriage, basically we see that it must has equality, both are willingly want their partners to reach their goals. Both of them respect and treat each other equally. They be very happy with each other success in work life. Both support each other to follow their own goals and during household chores they work together as a team. It is Mirage to have feminist marriage because in our india women are the one who has to sacrifice lots of things before marriage their is no equality between men and women due to society tradition which only support men in every way and women don’t get support in career either in their childhood. Women are excepted to be housewife and family also don’t support her to follow her dreams to be independent like men. From old times it is like that only their is nothing equal in marriage men can do job after marriage but women are still excepted to leave their job after marriage. Why? Women also deserve to get treat equally like men. Feminist marriages will be only happen when society stop thinking that women are meant to be homemaker and take care of family. It is not like that women can do household work and taking care of their child. Both can do job and do household work together because not only one person is responsible in marriage both are equally responsible for the work towards their family and home. Society should start treating men and women equally. In marriage if both will respect and treat equally by working together towards their responsibility than their bond will get automatically stronger.
The concept of traditional or normal marriage is different from feminist marriage. In feminist marriage both partners believe in equality, nobody is a superior or dominating partner in marriage both treat each other respectfully, they both get happy with each other’s happiness and success. The good thing about this marriage is there are very fewer chances of complications and arguments in the marriage relationship and also the burden of home and family responsibilities does not solely fall on women but both the partner equally distributes their responsibility. But in India feminist marriages very less we can see it is still a mirage but slowly people are changing so it may turn into reality in the future. Doing feminist marriage is very beneficial to women because her husband gets successful in her career and understands her nicely. They are no judgment and criticism only support. If couples started their marriage as feminist marriage, then some chances coming generation will also do the same and end up inequality in marriages. Patriarchal beliefs look like women are weaker sex than man and women have to make decisions asking their husband but in feminism, women can make their own decision, choices and they can live by showing their own identity. there are a lot of people in society who are against inter-caste and inter-religion marriage but feminist marriage ideology only believes in inequality, respect, and love in their relationship. Some couples really value the concept of feminist marriage, but they cannot do it because of social barriers. People should stop bothering about society. but seeing the current situation patriarchy is heavy than feminist marriages. Feminist marriage needs to be encouraged between unmarried people. Feminist marriage very new concept for people who will take time to accept this.
Yes ,I think most of the feminist marriage are just a mirage and not reality. Although, we are leading toward a modern world where actually feminism is being highlighted and promoted, so people are now making feminist marriage possible. However, still there is a low ratio of feminist marriage comparatively to arrange marriage or patriarchal marriage. Feminist marriage is actually a right way to lead a healthy marriage life. Where two individuals are married and want to share their life with each other and there is no question about who will earn, cook and take decisions, They are free individuals want to live their life on their own choices and decisions ,but to have a partner to share. The goal is not to dominate one another but to make each other help to grow in their respective life. Feminist marriage is actually a wonderful initiative that our society should adapt, a change which will break so many patriarchal norms. The marriage which our culture and tradition promotes is just a toxic interwoven web designed for the institution of marriage where the actual meaning of marriage fades away.
Attempting for a world with equal rights and opportunities for all ought to very be the sole feminist pursuit. There in endeavor, we want to inexhaustibly question why people who bear the forcefulness of social system mostly still romanticize wedding, that has for hundreds of years benefited one aspect over the opposite. It’s no surprise that several films that address the difference and unfairness of wedding finish with the lady walking out of her matrimonial home. Similarly, a really feminist world lies in abandoning — not ever-changing — structures to form alternative, additional simply and non-exploitative paradigms that don’t seem to be supported hierarchies as well as exclusions.
High time that feminist marriage should be accepted with open arms in a society.Nowadays we think of marriage and family as fluid categories. We celebrate same-sex marriage along with heterosexual marriage. Mental and physical disabilities no longer stand in the way of family formation. Most of us no longer know the meaning of the word miscegenation, which once barred loving interracial couples from marriage. As marriage has changed, so have families. The nuclear family, as it was once called, ideally consisted of two parents mail breadwinner families. Those families now make up only 7% of all our families. The elderly now really live with children. Solidaristic extended family communities are increasingly hard to find. 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
Dress it up, subvert it, deny it all you want but marriage is an institution that has curtailed women’s freedom for centuries. Instead of rejecting the patriarchal and outdated tradition, some feminists have decided to reclaim it. We may have progressed into the industrial revolution when it was described as “little more than a state of legal prostitution”, but let’s not kid ourselves. Event today marriage is not about equality, it’s about perpetuating privilege. Being given away by your father mason you and romantic, but it stems from a time when women were seen as property by their fathers and husbands. It forms a backdrop to women’s oppression for centuries. Forced marriages, child brides and polygamy all show how human rights violations of women and girls all too often go hand in hand with marriage. In India, marital rape is still not recognised. Unmarried people are tagged sad, lonely, abnormal, or dangerous. This suggests that not being married puts them outside the realm of natural human needs, desires, and behaviours. Human beings are the only species that marry and validate others who marry. Marriage is not natural. It is not a requirement for survival, procreation, or evolution. Marriage is a choice.Feminist marriage: a marriage where both the partners are treated as equals, with the same amount of respect, and the same amount of share in the household chores. So, is the feminist marriage actually just a mirage?
In today’s scenario when every action by the society is rooted in deep patriarchy, a feminist marriage certainly seems like a mirage. It’s highly rare in Indian households to find a marriage where the male partner does even 20 percent of the chores, let alone the ideal 50 percent. The household chores are by default considered to be a woman’s job, irrespective of whether she’s doing a paid job like her husband or not. The woman is expected to look after the kids and the household chores all by herself, and then she is allowed to pay attention to her job—which by most members of the family is regarded as a secondary job compared to that of the husband’s. The husband just gets to live his dream life, have a beautiful house, and tiny human versions of himself, without putting even half of the efforts done by the wife. Fortunately, such is not the case for every household, but the majority remains the same.
So yes, a feminist marriage definitely remains a mirage in the current world. However, there is a little hope for the improvement as women are raising voices to get an equal treatment not just in the outer world but in their homes too! And of course, albeit slowly, the change is coming and hopefully the feminist marriage won’t be a mirage anymore for the coming generations.
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