Get Inspired, Be Empowered Forums Sexism & Patriarchy Do women play a role in upholding patriarchy?

16 replies, 16 voices Last updated by Aditi Sahu 2 years ago
  • Gayatri Somvanshi
    Participant
    @gayatri
    #31603
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    Honestly to a great extent I would say . It’s the fact that we at some point in our life or you can even say in our everyday life point out, judge a girl and contribute to the encouragement of patriarchy. There are two ways in how we actually are upholding patriarchal norms :-
    To bully someone .
    Let someone bully us.
    We always forget that we as women are actually judging other girls , commenting on their figure and making fun of them , cringing at their outfits and the way they walk, slutshame them , body shame someone and list goes on and on .
    The root of this problem lies towards the source from where these thoughts come from. Our childhood is actually rooted with patriarchal norms. How ? It’s very easy .
    We get these thoughts from our mothers , grandmothers , aunts, sisters and so on.We have always been taught by our mothers to be laid back, to compromise, to be weak before a man ,to endure and to lower ourselves and let men trample over us. Just take an instance of a simple scenario of dinner. In every household we see male family members are served first and then when they finish women it. Why can’t it happen that everyone eats together? I still remember the days that my naani always said to me that a woman should always be behind and let the man be ahead of her because this is how a married life can be happy.
    It’s not common that we all have received this kind of dialogues from our granny, aunties and everyone. Let’s not overlook the fact that according to their ideal lady image they always advise us and tell us that an ideal lady tries to keep family together and also sacrifices her happiness for her family. She thinks about her family first and then thinks about herself.In short according to them an ideal lady will always be someone who will think for everyone other than herself.
    Since we have all been listening to this since our childhood we forget our actions.
    Sadly everyone of us gossip and comment about each other, body shame , slutshame , point on character ,way of walking , fashion etc , etc. Ohhhh!!!
    When it comes to gossiping, how can we forget our dearest neighbouring aunties in our societies who are like CCTV cameras capturing every moment. And spreading illogical rumors and giving free and illogical advice on how we should live our life.
    Nonetheless thus we all know that we are somewhere promoting these norms. So why not start thinking and acting maturely.
    Let’s just improve ourselves as a society. Let’s create a non-. Judgmental society for us and our upcoming future generations. To all the mothers out there teach your child to respect every woman and of its girl child teach her to live with her head high.

    PALAK KASHIV
    Participant
    @palak
    #31699
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    Yes, I agree that women play part in upholding the patriarchy, so basically, patriarchy is all about man superior to women, and they have the right to make decisions and can control women. Simply put, it is an idea that most of them were raised with. This is one of the many reasons why humans find it hard to discuss ideas with each other, as cultural traditions and socialization are put into children for such long periods of time that it becomes almost quite difficult to convince them of other viewpoints. Closed minds and carefully created ideas of patriarchy are what has allowed some women to believe in it, to this day. It is all a question of culture. And in the worst patriarchal societies, women and girls can be treated as insignificant belonging of men, with few if any legal rights. This makes them very vulnerable to abuse. The best society in my view is one where men and women are truly equal. But surprisingly few women actually would want to live in such a world either. Most want to be protected and led by strong men. Of course, that’s due to generations of patriarchal dominance. If women continue to follow patriarchal norms they will continue to suffer and this will not end. We should sure our upcoming generation not follow the patriarchy and become independent. Patriarchy bounds women, they can do what they want and also they don’t get the respect which they deserve. Some women trying to break the patriarchal system, we need more such women to eradicate this patriarchy from our society.

    DISHA SAPKALE
    Participant
    @42disha
    #31857
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    Yes, i agree with that because women are following the norms which are from very old times due to fear of society. Women do whatever men says they never argue when them because they feel that men can say anything but they can’t because they are married now but in today’s generation many of the women’s who are educated taking stand against wrong and many of them following the norms and tolerate all the things that her husband says her and even violence also. Why? Women should take stand for the wrong if anything wrong is happening they should fight back. Women who are uneducated because they don’t keep there point they don’t take stand for herself that they want learn educate and be independent. In home men can study then. why? Women Can’t allowed to study. And also they don’t get freedom to go outside like their brothers. In villages there is worst situation they treat women like they are made for household chores and taking care of family only. And men also don’t support her they think women should take care of family some of them don’t give freedom to their wife to go outside. Women also don’t raise their voice against them they listen their husband don’t say anything against them. They don’t educate women because there thinking is educating women is waste of money. And women don’t raise their voice against them. From old times the norms and culture they follow that like all women do housework and men do job and make money for home. Why? Women should make change they can also go out do job and make money being independent. Because of not taking stand, not thinking for herself, not raising their voice against wrong this are the reasons why women play major role in upholding patriarchy.

    Mayuravarshini Mohana
    Participant
    @mayura
    #31877
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    To proceed on this discussion, it is important to fundamentally acknowledge something- the fight is against patriarchy and not men, against the oppressive system and not a particular gender. Just as there are feminist men, there are patriarchal women. The enemy here is the ideology.

    Why then would women support a system that clearly disadvantages them? Most often they do not realise it. Patriarchy largely exists in the guise of culture. The onus of perpetuating culture and tradition is rested on women’s shoulders and they pass it on as heirlooms to their daughters.

    The root of the problem lies in gender socialisation. It is the process through which children are taught gender binaries, performing gender roles and social expectations. School, family and media act as the agents of gender socialisation. The ideas are omnipresent and delivered with such conviction that a child internalises it firmly. It becomes an irrefutable dogma. Women are thus trained from a young age to uphold patriarchy.

    The problem is that patriarchy has seeped into every aspect of our lives that it has become hard to distinguish. It is in the way we dress, the choices we make, the rites we perform, when we marry, who we marry, or who we don’t marry. Patriarchy is inscribed on our minds from a very young age such that it integrates into a person’s moral compass and their sense of what is ‘right’. For instance, a woman who wears ‘revealing’ clothes is pulled aside and censured by her mother, grandmother or an aunt. What a woman wears is treated as a statement on her character. It is deemed the duty of an older woman to have the woman of the next generation follow the rules. Otherwise, why would a woman voicing out her opinion, or a girl having male friends be countered with a disapproving ‘Look how her mother has raised her’?

    That being said, patriarchy is no more uncontested. The oppressive system is being actively countered by a movement towards building a world that embraces inclusivity and individual uniqueness. A lot of women who support feminism do sponsor patriarchy unintentionally. This is because feminism is a constant process of unlearning. A feminist is not someone who has it all figured out. What matters is to commit to the cause of social equality across socially constructed identities, to embrace what could be a lifetime’s worth of unlearning, and never look back.

    Semantee Chattopadhyay
    Participant
    @semantee03
    #31937
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    Patriarchy is a social system in which males hold the primary power. In the domain of the family, fathers or father figures hold the authority over women and children. Patriarchy is characterized by male identification which says that men are stronger. This also has a lot of gender stereotypes attached to it. The home is the nursery of patriarchy. Women do play a role in upholding patriarchy. They are the ones who socialize their children into accepting norms of patriarchy that otherwise are so impossible to accept. It is often said that “women are women’s worst enemy”. It is very painful and unfair. A woman has been made to become a woman’s worst enemy as she is the one laying down the horrible laws someone made centuries ago. She is like a hunting dog of patriarchy as she is the one who is asked to enforce these laws. Starting from not going to the temple in periods to making her learn all the household chores, women unknowingly take part in patriarchy. Women are made to favour their male children over the female ones. In some places, a woman gets subjected to humiliation by her mother-in-law if she gives birth to a female child. Unnecessary statements are often heard in a family gathering like “her grandmother cried when she was born” or “this family has only girls”. These things are very subtly put in although been said as a joke. These things are very subtly put in although been said as a joke. Women are patriarchal as men by holding the same values and biases.
    The patriarchal bargain of sustained “submissiveness and propriety” made throughout her life produces rewards in the form of authority, affection, and approval. In some societies, women are afforded rights and freedoms in the interest of the quality of the sexes.

    038 deepika Singh
    Participant
    @038-deepika
    #34628
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    Why do we always hate men for not understanding and supporting us? Why have we made this a war of the genders, when there are just as many women who judge us, dismiss us, dehumanise us and devalue us? All those aunties who are over-eager to get you married the moment you hit eighteen. Those women who judge you if you are doing better than them at life. Slut, bitch, whore… They call you all sorts of names. Those who urge you to try and make an abusive marriage work. Those who think you need a man to be accepted. Those who have no inhibitions ruining your relationships and seducing the man you are with. Those who would probably destroy you, if they see you walking with a man. Very few women actually uplift each other. We try to bring each other down more than any man does.

    Aditi Sahu
    Participant
    @aditi
    #34630
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    Do women play a role in upholding patriarchy? Absolutely yes! People of all genders have upheld the ideals of patriarchy for years even though they themselves might be a victim of it. Talking about women, yes women have contributed to patriarchy just like men, maybe not as much, but their contribution is significant enough to feel ashamed of the fact that the gender who you would assume to be more empathetic because they have been victimized by the patriarchy is perpetrating the harmful notions of patriarchy themselves.

    We live in a society that thrives on making women’s life miserable. Be it men or women, they constantly judge women’s choices and their way of living. It is high time that we all hold ourselves accountable and stop this craziness continuing a system that has only harmed the backbone of our society.

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