Get Inspired, Be Empowered › Forums › Sexism & Patriarchy › Why are brides ‘given away’ at weddings? › Reply To: Why are brides ‘given away’ at weddings?
India wedding is very special of occasion . A lot of rituals is held during marriage . The gifts given to the groom family to bride family things were exchanged . But marriage is the only occasion in which a living thing is given to the another party that is “THE BRIDE”
The practice of sending off girls in marriages has been going on for a long time. A girl is taught from childhood that she is the property of someone else’s house, the wealth of someone else’s house, which can stay here for a certain time and once she get married, will be sent away. But a boy is never told that she will move to another house after marriage .Since childhood, a dharna sits in the minds of children, a girl has to leave her house, after marriage, a boy has to bring his girl from someone else’s house. Because people believe that the boy will increase their wealth, will increase their family, will give them a new Kuldeepak and will take their lineage forward. Under the old thinking and idea, people send off the girls in wedding and keep their boys with them. People think that there is only a boy who can take care of the house, the girl cannot be of any use, she will not be able to help them on any work.
It is said to a girl in the maternal house that you are the trust of someone else’s house, you are the moonlight of someone else’s house and in the in-laws’ house it is told to a girl that she has come from other house , so foreign wealth is not the trust of our house.It is said at the time of Kanyadaan that now we have given away our daughter and have donated her, now she has no relation from here, now whenever she comes here she will come as a guest. There is very big misconception amount to society that girl need to be adjusted and should adjust everywhere it should be in her nature that’s why a girl is given away in wedding . Because society somehow knows that a man cannot adjust anywhere due to his so called ego .
In Kanyadaan and Bidaai rituals , a girl is realised that she doesn’t have any home . Till the time of her marriage, she is a guest in her maternal house and after marriage she is a guest in her husband house.