Get Inspired, Be Empowered Forums Sexism & Patriarchy Marriages often fail because……

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13 replies, 14 voices Last updated by Aditi Sahu 1 year, 11 months ago
  • Woospire
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    @admin
    #30670

    Marriages often fail because men seek more power in a relationship. What do you think?

    Darshini Suresh
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    @darshinisuresh
    #30680
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    Even in relationship having a maximum romance, it does have an imbalance of power, but the stakes are always higher in such cases for a woman. First let’s understand what power is. Power is actually the ability of a person to get what he or she wants. To be in a position where they can take action in an effective way and shape events as per their control and needs. According to recent statistics 96 percent of marriages have failed because of men wanting the power and superior position in the relationship.
    When a woman tends to have no power in relationship she feels weak. Usually in such cases a man will do a mistake and make a big issue out of it and blame it on the woman and make her feel like everything was her fault. This is the majority of cases that actually happen In today’s marriage which leads to divorce. Have you heard of an old saying “absolute power corrupts absolutely”! I can put a strong thought by saying that some men as humans just cannot share a nature on equitable grounds to treat women fairly in a relationship by paying attention to them with dignity and giving them the respect.Men like to be dominating and have a power more than their wives to achieve superiority
    In today’s generation, women have become stronger and mentally stable. So because of this storing reason as soon as they feel, they are not being valued or respected properly, divorce appear to happen. Women don’t want control like the man or have a superiority Complex, but they just want to be treated with respect and value them in path of their life by their partner. Is this too much to ask for?
    Lastly I end by saying that woman can have a committed and loving relationship which is actually one of the greatest joys of life for a woman as a loving relationship is said to be a great foundation of having a meaningful life, but this should not happen in any way at the cost of banishing a woman from her personal thoughts, and opinions by not allowing to take her own stand.

    aishwaryaaji
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    @aishwaryaaji
    #30705
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    Marriage as an institution is one that thrives on mutual love, respect, and care for one another. If one of these facets fails, there is a chance of it not being a successful one.

    Of course, different people have different views on how an ideal marriage would be, but normally, especially in a developing country like India, a marriage is usually one where the husband is the head of the family and the wife obediently does whatever he says. Gay, lesbian and polygamous marriages are not even considered options in a country like ours.

    If people in Western countries marry out of love, Indians marry out of familial pressure and concern over what other people in the society will think. What the husband-wife duo usually does in front of others is a façade. Just playing along with how society wants an ideal married couple to be.
    There’s also a societal-set age that determines when women and men should marry. It should also be noted how marriage is discouraged when a person exceeds that set age, even if the person involved wants to marry.

    This proves that marriage is basically just a socially constructed institution to satisfy certain expectations of theirs. At the same time, men and women, either consciously or unconsciously mould into these expectations that society sets for them. Men must be the breadwinners, women shouldn’t work, they should stay at home; do the cooking, the cleaning, and looking after the kids.

    The main reason why marriages fail is that either one of the parties doesn’t follow those societal expectations. It is usually women who cannot subjugate themselves to their husbands and treat them like gods while being treated like trash in return. That’s a concept of the past. Yet, men still hold on to the values their fathers handed down to them; the power over women, which is why there are always clashes between husbands and wives. Boys remember their mothers being submissive and believed their wives to do the same for them because patriarchy always put men in a position of comfort, while women made all the sacrifices.

    Since women have gotten a lot more vocal about their needs and basic rights, it angers men. Since women have now started demanding equality, it angers men that they do not get to enjoy the same privileges that their fathers and grandfathers did.

    Women, nowadays, don’t submit themselves to patriarchy even when their own parents force them to carry on the ancestral culture of subjugation to their husbands and allow legal slavery of their daughters in the name of marriage.

    Women have gained more independence and self-respect with the help of the feminist movement and are now no longer silent or afraid to use their rights whenever needed. Thus, they know they can live without men, but agree to marriage just because of familial pressure, as mentioned. Therefore, it is a known fact that a divorce is an option if it doesn’t work out. It is also a curious case that it is only a woman who suffers after a bad marriage even though she wasn’t the one at fault, the privilege of being treated as a human, if you’re not a man, in a patriarchal world is limited.

    Men always get angry at women who vocalize inequalities and unfair treatment because it’s inbuilt in them that women should always be inferior to men. This is the main reason that in arguments, even if the woman is calmly stating the points, it’s always the men who shout to establish superiority because it’s a hurt to his pride if a woman, a lowly being, wins against him.

    Yet, each time at family functions, it is always the wives who are made the butt of domestic abuse jokes by the husbands painting themselves as victims. The jokes go along the lines of “Oh, I can’t joke about her, she’ll beat me up when we get home.” “Oh, I should do as she says because she’s the head of the house.” “My wife is so controlling. I don’t know if she’s the wife or I’m the wife.” The only one who knows that these claims are senseless lies would in the end be beaten up by the jokester behind closed doors.

    Domestic abuse being one reason for failed marriages, sexual abuse and extramarital affairs come next. Marital rapes are still not criminalized in India and are considered an internal matter whenever a case is filed.

    On the other hand, when either of the partners has unsatisfactory sexual lives, they seek for it outside marriage. The reasons can be lack of proper communication between themselves, ignorance about pleasure for women and men having higher sex drives, and looking to satisfy themselves elsewhere because their partner says no. Extramarital affairs are condemned by yours truly, though. No one deserves to go through that pain.

    Another reason for a failed marriage in India? Dowry. If the woman’s family is not well-off enough to give dowry to the men’s family, the wife’s life becomes hell for her.

    Therefore, with all these reasons, just being a few of the many others, it’s noticed that it’s mostly men who become the reason for a failed marriage. They want power and control, they want their ‘property’ to do whatever they want it to do, they need women to fulfill and disprove their useless insecurities. Thus, it all comes down to patriarchy. Men being taught from childhood that they can be as bad as they want, and their wives are supposed to just stick with it.
    Too bad for them, women will not play along anymore. 🙂

    shilpagladwins
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    @shilpagladwins
    #30706
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    Marriage is a relationship that requires love, commitment, and respect, among other things. A marriage can last for years or it can end for a variety of reasons.

    An ideal married life differs for each person. If their ideals match, the marriage could prosper. It should be said that even if they are compatible, it doesn’t necessarily mean it would be a happy married life.

    When it comes to India, an ideal marriage would be what society deems ideal. The parents are the ones who decide who should marry who. The selection of the bride comes with a lot of consideration. They’ll select a woman based on her education, her skin colour, whether she is ‘pure’, etc. A woman certainly needs to go through trials to a bride.

    There is often pressure on women to marry. Since the birth of a girl child, parents would be concerned about finding a man to marry her off to, the issue of dowry, and so on. When a woman reaches a certain age, she is constantly asked, “When are you getting married?” “You should settle down and take care of your husband,” and so on. It’s as if a woman is born with the responsibility of providing for men. An independent, unmarried woman well past the ‘marrying age’ would be mocked and scorned, and in the worst cases, slut-shamed.

    The reason why marriages fail could be the fault of either party. It could be because of the man or the woman. However, women are frequently blamed because of how women are perceived in a patriarchal society. Women are speaking up for their rights and refusing to be submissive to men. If the husband strongly believes in male dominance, he will be dissatisfied with a wife who can stand up for herself and is not the shy, obeying wife he expected.

    Some men marry with the expectation that their wives will obey them at all times, that they will be the head of the family and have a certain amount of dominance. Men seek power in order to feel superior. And because women are stereotyped as passive and submissive, they are ideal for men to wield power over. This dynamic is a recipe for disaster when introduced into a marriage. Superiority complex, ego issues, excessive controlling by the husband and other problems can all doom a marriage.

    Men frequently believe they are superior to women and that they can do whatever they want without consequences, which leads to failed marriages. Because of the deeply ingrained patriarchal system, society favours men. A woman is frequently blamed when the fault is not hers, to begin with.

    Domestic abuse, both emotionally and physically, is also a reason for marriage failure. Extra-marital affairs is also another.

    A toxic marriage in which both parties refuse to respect and understand each other is doomed to fail. Divorce is not always the result of a failed marriage. For the sake of their reputation or the concerns of their families, the couple would remain married despite their lost love.

    shaifalikapoor03
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    @shaifalikapoor03
    #31126
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    Men seeking supremacy over women is an old practice in our country, women are taught to obey their husband’s wishes or commands no matter what happens, they often are taught that their husbands are god, whatever they say is right, whatever they do is right, women are just bound to consider them right. But today the world has changed, women are independent in their lives, do whatever they want, procrastinate against the wrongs their husbands do, work for their dreams, maybe this is the reason marriages today don’t work, because men don’t feel that dominance over their wives which used to have a place in earlier times, today marriage literally means working together equally, not like earlier times when women were the only one’s responsible for their marriages to work, today marriage actually has a meaning to be mutual regarding the decisions, independence and love.

    Manpreet Singh
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    @manpreet
    #31166
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    Well in my opinion marriage is often fails because there is a lack of basic compatibility between the partners. The very idea of marriage and romance has been so tarnished by popular culture that we are literally living in a bubble and presume that whatever is being fed to our minds is also true in the reality. In terms of relationships, we have very irrational expectations from the real world and as a result, when a person enters into a relationship, they met with horror. The popular media is trying very hard to compartmentalize the very idea of relationships into fine prints and it is making believe people if they are not part of the norm then they can’t have a successful relationship. People fail to understand that marriages and relationships cannot be defined into watertight definitions. The whole idea of a relationship is so substantial and personal that a person should choose his relationship according to his own needs and requirements.
    The problem also lies due to the fact that no one teaches us about these things at home.
    These things are so are considered as Taboo and hence of unrest under the carpet. Boys are not taught how to communicate well with the opposite gender and as a result when real-time comes they fail to communicate properly.
    Also, the whole system of arranged marriage is a flawed one. Many times couples are forced to become partners owning to family pressure. this has led to so many broken homes and failed marriages.

    Gayatri Somvanshi
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    @gayatri
    #31981
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    “Oh you know she got divorced?”
    “Oh really but they were such a cute couple and he was so caring towards her.”
    ” Yes he was god knows maybe it’s because of her ambitious personality or she maybe not be able to please him.”
    ” Oh I don’t know why nowadays women want materialistic things more than love. I mean what’s wrong with lowering yourselves. A little?”

    This kind of conversation we often hear and now see how women are blamed for whatever goes wrong and how she is expected to lower herself. It’s very easy to say that we choose materialistic things over love but what’s with the love that tries to control you?
    What’s up with the so-called love who actually sees you as a mere property and expects you to act according to them?
    It’s very ironic how people shamelessly say that women are unable to please men sexuall resulting in their divorce and how women are regarded as insufficient.
    But people don’t really realise that the divorce is not something that is always caused by women. Divorce is mostly the result of man being controlling, harassing reasons or it can even be a mutual decision of the couple.
    People have always been blaming women but the real reason is men have always tried to suppress women. They think being married give them a liscense to do what ever with the women and thus it progresses into violence and marital rapes and emotional torture for a woman and finally they need a breakthrough and thus the nest way is to move out of the relationship. So please stop blaming women for failing in relationships instead teach men to respect women and be loyal to her and treat her as a human being.
    Teach them that women deserve respect and couples can last longer if they both have mutual respect for each other and marriage is needed to be rooted with love , respect and trust.

    PALAK KASHIV
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    @palak
    #32059
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    Marriage is a most beautiful relationship which is between two people. The marriage bond is made with love, trust, understanding, and care these are very important elements in every marital relationship. But nowadays we can see many marriages fail because of lack of trust between couples or having extramarital affairs and family issues. In marriage always men are one who is dominating their wife, everything is done with the permission of the husband, many husbands like to remove their stress on wife they torture them by beating them and harassing her, and the wife continues to suffer silently because our traditional society has this belief anything wrong happens between married couples should remain between them only, due to this all-reasons marriage fails. In India, women do not like to file for divorce, because they are financially dependent on their husbands, and also, they fear from society even if the mistake of the husband they will blame the women only. Marriage is like collaboration or partnership which requires equal efforts from both. Communication is very important for protecting marriage from failing. Some women do not like to stay with their in-laws and men can’t live parents. It gets worse to the extent where marriage complications increase. Some women don’t women to sacrifice their job because of husband transfer due to promotion. Both have to value each other opinions, set boundaries and limitations according to both. Making partners feel special on their special day, gifting each other, going on vacations because this small -small effort keeps light in marriage. Clearing your misunderstandings by communicating with your partner before taking any wrong action. Failure of marriage can have a bad effect on both lives. Couples need to make sure winning in an argument is not important what important is saving their relationship. Also, people have unreal expectations from their marriages it will not be perfect, complications that come in every marriage relationship but important is how we deal with it.

    nehachitroda
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    @nehachitroda
    #32062
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    MARRIAGES OFTEN FAIL BECAUSE…
    Marriages are successful if both the partners are equally respected and understand and handle each situation rightly because if one person keeps on doing so then the other will always have a reason to let go and neglect things. Not every marriage is successful and not all humans are the same and so sometimes marriages fail but it’s not valid to blame one and victimize the other.
    If we look back at those times when there were fewer divorces and marriages didn’t fail, it was because women at that time were sacrificing and they had gone through much but they tolerated and marriages keep on working. But now it’s not the same scenario many women fight back and some also let go and keep on tolerating. At some point then the marriages fail because of many reasons which are not seen but are the ones because it happens.
    Some men think after marriage women have to listen to each and everything and devote her to him but tend to forget that both needs to at par marriage, some men’s harass their wives by domestic violence and by treating her like maid but still, women keep on tolerating it and when due to this reason if the marriage doesn’t work out and fail, women’s are one who is blamed and made to hear their whole life that because of you.
    There are many other reasons apart from this, like both the partners are unable to give time to each other and so they prioritize work, sometimes due to lack of communication there arises expectations which are unknown to each other, some family pressure or issues which make them think differently, etc.
    So marriages fail not because of one person but due to lack of both partners efforts and understanding.

    DISHA SAPKALE
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    @42disha
    #32080
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    Marriage often fail because of violence, expectations, misunderstanding, breaking trust. It is beautiful relationship but on otherside it is difficult to maintain that relationship with respect and trust. In marriage their should not be hidden secrets it leads to break their trust. If men and women any one of them is cheating than it will break their marriage in seconds. We mostly see that in marriage man are the ones who act like head of the family. They always accept from women to listen them. Because of which in conversation only men is speaking and women don’t get chance to put her point of view due to which it leads to arguments and both don’t understand each other. After marriage most of women are not allowed to do job and ask them to take care of family because of which they feel inequality between them. Women are forced to quit their job for growing their children. This is the one of the reason marriage fails due to men power towards women. Their are some women who don’t want to leave with their in-laws because of which both will into heated argument and both are stick with their decision due to which her husband will leave the home for his parents and it will create distance between them. Their are lot of women are facing domestic violence in marriage then also they control because of family pressure to safe the marriage but at some point she has to take action towards him. In marriage husband and wife both should treat each other equally. Husband should support and motivate her wife to follow her goals to be independent. Parents should also taught his son to treat their wife with love and respect by supporting her in every situation. This may safe their marriages.

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